In Black and White
by Libitina
Summary: -Shonen ai content- Set after Weiss, but before Gluhen. AU. Schwarz survived the last battle, but barely. Their members are crippled and they turn to their long time enemies for assistance. Will Weiss trust Schwarz? And will that trust be betrayed if they
1. Chapter One revised

In Black and White  
By: Libitina

  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters depicted here. I am just borrowing them to have a little fun with my imagination.

Warnings: Shonen-ai content. Boys kissing, but it won't get much worse than that. Poor grammar abounds, as I have no beta reader and fail to see my own mistakes at times. I did my best, and I do apologize for any mistakes still remaining. 

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His hands are cold. It takes everything I have not to pull away as he rests those ice berg hands on my shoulders. I meet his deep blue eyes. He's touching me because he wants my full attention, and more often than not physical contact is the only way to stop my mind from wandering. You probably find that hard to believe. Nagi Naoe? Has a wandering mind? Why do you think I'm so quiet? What's there to say when I'm already having the conversation with myself, in my head? I am the best conversationalist I have ever met, and this is only because I always know what I can say, and I never have to wonder if I'm being judged for a slipped word, or a shy stutter.

"You have to do this." He says sternly.

I shake my head, looking away, "No."

"You're the only one who can do it."

"No."

He sighs, fingers squeezing my shoulders so tight it's almost painful. "Nagi . . . " The word is a hiss. He's tired, and frustrated and he's just had a big argument with Schuldich, so he's not in a good mood. His patience has been worn painfully thin and he is trying very hard not to be cruel to me. I can see it in his face. Or maybe I just imagine I see it, because that's how I'd like him to be. Careful. Considerate. Caring.

"Let Schuldich do it."

"He cannot. They know him too well, and he would get into too much trouble."

Not because they know him. He'd get into trouble because he can't resist _causing_ trouble.

"Let Jei do it."

He gives me a sharp, reprimanding look. He doesn't like it when I call Farfarello that. "He hasn't been well."

Not since that last battle with Weiss. I know this as well as the others but I had to ask. I can't just give in and let him make me do this. I can't do it. I don't want to do it. There has to be another way. "I don't want to."

"You have to. It's our only chance." The last words are said in a hushed, almost pained, manner.

I look away, unable to meet his eyes any longer. He is as scared as I am, as we all are. He just hides it better. We need help, and we need it fast. But why me? And why from them?

I know why. I just don't want to think about it. I want to forget it happened. I want to pretend it didn't happen. "Don't make me do this."

"I won't make you."

His hands drop from my shoulders and he steps back. I can't look at him. If I look at him, I'll want to do as he says. I'll want to help. We're family. I'm the only one who can do it. If I don't, we'll fall apart. If I don't, I might lose them. I have to take care of my family.

"I'll do it."

Even as the words slip from my lips I regret them. I said them though, I can't take them back.

He sighs, running a hand through his short black hair. It's a bit longer than it was before 'the incident'. I watch his fingers rub his scalp with fascination. I have always found him fascinating. I can't remember a moment when I looked at him and didn't want to touch him, just to see what it would feel like.

Even after all this time and all that has happened I still haven't touched him. He has touched me, but I've never been able to force myself to return the contact.

"Pack your things. We leave for Japan in the morning."

Chapter One -The Proposition-

It was raining, but he hardly seemed to notice as he stood before the camper where the objects of his search were. It hadn't been hard finding them, not with a telepath and precog looking for them. The hard part was going to be the part coming up. He shivered as a blast of wind cut through his wet jacket straight into his skin. He became keenly aware of the cold then and began to shiver more than he liked. 

He took two steps forward, then hesitated again. They wouldn't be happy to see him, if they recognized him. 'Why am I doing this?' He thought of his 'family' and it was on this thought that he finally garnered enough courage to reach out and knock twice on the door of the camper.

It didn't take long before the door opened and a friendly and very familiar face popped into his line of vision. Vision that was quickly becoming blurry around the edges. "Hello!"

As always the youth was far friendlier than was good. He stared straight at Nagi but didn't seem to recognize him and this comforted Nagi, a little. He opened his mouth, and for a moment was terrified when it seemed no words would come out of his throat, but then he heard himself speaking and breathed an inward sigh of relief, "We need to speak."

Omi blinked, looking a little startled, "Isn't that what we're doing?"

Seventeen years old and still he managed to play the part of a complete innocent. Nagi stared at the older boy, trying hard to keep his thoughts in some sort of lucid order, "Privately." It was hard to speak, hard to continue, hard not to run away.

He was not a coward, but this wasn't his sort of thing. He didn't like speaking to people. He didn't like walking right into enemy camps. He didn't like the idea of seeing 'him' again.

"Well, what do you need to sp-" His voice trailed off as he got a good look at Nagi's face.

The silence that followed was uncomfortable and far too long. Nagi shifted from one foot to the other as he waited. He watched Omi's face closely, seeing and recognizing every emotion the other boy went through as they stared at each other. Shock. Fear. Confusion. Panic. 

"The last time you showed up at our door, it wasn't for good things." Omi said finally, breaking the silence.

"Things are different now."

"Are they?" Omi repeated slowly. He looked past Nagi, perhaps looking for the rest of Schwarz, or maybe he looked away just because he didn't like to continue staring at the younger boy.

"I am not Schwarz. You are not Weiss." Nagi said after a long moment of silent thought. He held out his hand, though his fingers were shaking a great deal. He 'never' initiated contact with anyone, not even friends. "I am Nagi Naoe." His chest rose and fell in rapid, frightened breaths.

Omi stared long and hard at Nagi's shaking fingers, then he reached out and grasped them, "Omi Tsukiyono. You'd better come inside, you look like you're freezing."

He stepped back, giving Nagi room to enter. Nagi immediately moved inside the camper. It was larger inside then he'd thought it would be. He entered into a large kitchen/dining/living room area. He glanced to his right and saw a long hall that seemed to lead to the bedrooms, two small ones that appeared to be big enough for a bed and small dresser, from what he could see. He wondered if they all stayed in the camper. He could only see Omi, but there was noise coming from the closed bedroom.

"Sit, please." Omi said as he pulled the door closed and latched it to keep it shut.

Nagi felt mildly unnerved when Omi latched the door, but he reasoned with himself that it was a latch and not a lock so it wasn't as if he was trapped. In reality he 'was' trapped. These men were all assassins and he had no way of protecting himself. Not anymore, anyway. But that would change. Soon.

He sat on the little seat under the window, behind the table. When the others would come out, they would either sit in the living area (which was so close they could easily converse with him from there) or on the other side of the table. He knew none would move to sit beside him. He glanced out the window at his back, shivering at the cold air seeping through it and into the back of his jacket.

He was dripping wet, and felt almost guilty for the water pooling on the seat beneath him. "Ken, Yohji, I think you'd better get out here." Omi called when the door was closed. He looked at Nagi. He appeared to be uncomfortable, and Nagi could hardly blame him.

"Something to drink?"

Nagi shook his head. He couldn't drink, if he did he would throw up the contents. He was sick with nerves. "Ah, what's up pretty boy?" A tall blond that Nagi instantly recognized as Balinese, or rather; Yohji, stepped out of the closed bedroom and walked down the hall. He moved with an inherent grace that Nagi found fascinating. He kept his eyes carefully averted, though, after the first glance. If only because he knew he would be unable to look away if he did set his eyes on the older man too long.

"We have a guest. Nagi Naoe." Omi said, carefully stressing the 'guest' part.

A cigarette hung between Yohji's lips and Nagi focused on that for a moment, before looking at the table top. He was finding it hard to breathe. 'Oh god . . . I can't have a panic attack. Not here. Not like this.'

"Nagi Naoe." Yohji repeated slowly, "Well, well, well, you do drag in the most interesting little friends, sweetheart."

"Ken? Ken, please come out." Omi called, after giving Yohji a rather sharp look. "It's probably best if you sit down, Yohji. Things will get crowded if we all stand."

Yohji nodded and dropped his long-legged frame onto the nearby couch. He was now, essentially, sitting just down the wall from Nagi. Nagi felt the eyes of the other man on him, but focused on the strange substance under his nails. He picked at it, trying to get it out.

As Yohji sat, Ken appeared from a door down the hall that Nagi hadn't noticed. It was the bathroom, and Ken's hair was dripping wet. He was rubbing it with a towel as he walked down the hall, "What's up Ommitc-" His words broke off, his eyes landing on Nagi. The towel dropped, slipping out of his fingers, off his shoulders and landing on the floor by his feet. "Oh my god." He whispered.

Omi was surprised at Ken's reaction. Nagi could see it in the boy's face. Even Yohji looked mildly startled. Nagi wasn't though, he remembered. He 'knew', and he felt like dying when he glanced up and caught Ken's deep brown gaze. He was glad suddenly for the cold. Without it there would be no reason for his trembling.

"Ken, we, um, we have a visitor. Nagi Naoe." Omi said softly, "You dropped your towel." He closed the short distance between them and bent, picking up Ken's towel. When he was upright again, he held it out to Ken, but Ken was still too busy gaping at Nagi to accept it.

Omi looked at Yohji, then at Nagi. He was clearly confused, not expecting Ken, of them all, to react so badly.

"Oh . . . god . . . you . . . " Ken licked his lips, finally managing to make his voice work, "What are you-"

Before he could finish his sentence Nagi broke in, "The last one. The redhead. Where is he?"

"Out." Yohji responded, "Sit down, Ken. Quit gaping like an idiot." 

Omi gently pushed Ken toward the couch. Ken collapsed beside Yohji, looking ill, his eyes never once leaving Nagi. Omi sat at the table, across from Nagi.

"You said you needed to speak to us?" He prompted, eager to get the conversation going. He was very curious.

'I was supposed to speak to all four, but it can't be helped.' Nagi thought as he fixed his gaze on Omi. 'Don't think about him, just look at Omi. Omi is the only one you're speaking to. He's the only one here.' "Schwarz lives."

Yohji snorted, "No kidding." He didn't sound amused, or mean really, just a little impatient as if he too was eager to learn why Nagi was there.

"But barely." Nagi continued as if Yohji had not spoken, "We have lost everything." His breath caught as he spoke. He realized this was taking a huge risk. Revealing their weaknesses to their mortal enemies like this.

"Everything?" Omi queried, obviously wondering exactly what that meant.

Nagi closed his eyes, "The . . . when the . . . it was . . . " He couldn't get the words out, because 'saying' the words meant he had to think about the event and he just couldn't. "There was damage." He finished finally, awkwardly, "You didn't know it, but a backlash of energy was released when the . . . at the . . . "

He was gasping, though he was only dimly aware of it. His hand had risen and was clutching the front of his shirt, over his heart. "Too much. It was too much trying to hold everything back. Trying to s-save them. I expended too much, and it all went." He bent forward, trying to ease the pain. Pain he knew was only in his memories.

"I don't understand." Omi said, compassion in his voice, "What went?"

"The gift. Our gifts. I over used mine, and it resulted only in an explosion of energy that robbed the others of theirs." Nagi relaxed his grip on his shirt when he realized what he was doing. He dropped his hand back into his lap, trying to calm his breathing, "I can't move things, Schuldich can no longer hear, Crawford can no longer see. We escaped with our sanity, but out gifts are gone."

"You used your 'gift' to hold the building up, didn't you?" Yohji questioned. He could remember that last battle. What he remembered most distinctly was how close their escape had been.

"Yes."

"And in doing so, you created some sort of . . . psychic whiplash that robbed the others of their gifts?" Omi guessed.

"Yes."

"So why are you here?" 

"Yohji." Omi scolded sharply, "Let him explain."

Yohji shrugged, sucking on his cigarette and glancing at Ken, who hadn't moved a hair since sitting. "We are no longer needed. Without our gifts we are nothing but useless humans. We were removed from the . . . the collection." Nagi said, well aware of how badly his voice was trembling, "And now . . . and now, we have no where to go."

"Except to the door of your rivals." Yohji said, sounding quite amused.

"You are also assassins. But, human assassins and . . . " Nagi broke off, closing his eyes and wishing fervently that he could somehow reach Schuldich. But Schuldich's mind was completely closed off to the rest of the world. "And . . . and you have . . . lives outside being assassins."

"You want us to teach you how to be human." Omi said with sudden understanding and a great deal of sympathy.

"We don't how. We have all lived only for Schwarz. Only for the collective. We need to contact Kritiker. We want to join them. We want to be human."

"You 'are' human." Yohji said dryly.

"No. We weren't. We don't know how to be."

"There is no trick to it." Omi said softly, "But," He held up his hand when Nagi opened his mouth to protest, "I can understand. Your gift set you apart. I imagine when people found out about your gift you were treated like an alien. So I do understand."

"Joining Kritiker won't make you human. It'll make you a murderer. You have a chance to start anew, why not take it?" Yohji queried, his tone lazy even though his eyes were sharp.

"I am already a murderer." Nagi said softly, though that was only partly true. Because of his age he had been on few missions and had been asked to kill only a minute number. And yet his hands were stained, just like the hands of the boy who sat across from him. "I can be nothing else now."

He didn't see it coming, he was in fact staring at Omi and trying not to look at 'him', so had no idea when Yohji moved. Suddenly his neck was grasped by a very powerful hand and he was pushed roughly back against his seat. He gasped, feeling the cold from the window, the strength of the fingers clutching him and shock that he had actually been attacked. Yohji's face was so close he could smell the cigarette on the other man's breath.

Yohji held him tight enough to make sure he couldn't move, but not hard enough to cause bruises. He bravely raised his eyes and met Yohji's gaze. He let the other see how afraid he really was. He could do nothing without his gift. He was completely helpless. And after holding him as he was, Yohji knew it as well as he did. "You're just a child without your powers, aren't you?" Yohji said very quietly.

Nagi was about to speak when Yohji was suddenly pulled back. He was momentarily confused as he watched the other man move several paces away from him. Then he realized that Ken had finally moved, and had Yohji by the back of his shirt. "Leave him alone." Ken said sharply.

"We need your help." Nagi spoke quickly, just hearing 'his' voice prompted him to end this encounter, "We need Kritiker."

"We can't make a decision without speaking to Kritiker first." Omi said, looking at Yohji and Ken, then back to Nagi.

Ken was gripping Yohji's shirt so tightly his knuckles were white. His eyes were once again fixed on Nagi and he appeared to be immobile. Yohji made no move to escape the other assassin's grip. He was studying Nagi, thinking over what he'd just learnt in the last few minutes.

"I understand." Nagi pushed his way around the table and off his seat. He stood, brushing past Omi and moving toward the door, "I will leave, and return in five days."

Nothing else was said as Nagi pulled the latch free and pushed the door open. He stepped back into the cold night. The rain had stopped, at least, but he hadn't dried so it was little consolation. He hugged himself as he walked away from the camper, leaving the door open behind him.

He wasn't sure what to think. He knew only that he was terrified of what came next.

Next they would wait.

Their lives hung in the balance. Suspended by the hands of men they had once tried to kill. It didn't matter that they were acting for the collective. It didn't matter that they were under orders. All that mattered was that they had done a lot of harm, and their sins had made their souls black.

Would Weiss take pity on them? Would Kritiker accept them? It seemed unlikely. People so good, never accepted people as bad as Schwarz

White.

Black.

The two created a hazy grey when mixed, and it was never a good thing.

Those five days passed with excruciating slowness. Nagi had not lied when he said Schwarz was crippled. Without the history and identities the collective had provided them with, they were nothing. They had no way of applying for jobs, because even the most basic jobs demanded some sort of ID. Without the collective, they did not exist, so they had none. In the eyes of the world, they were not real. They were nothing but apparitions.

This had been a good thing when they had been part of the collective, and assassins. But it did nothing but harm them now that they were on their own.

When the fifth day finally ended, Nagi was no more ready to return to Weiss' camper than he had been before. In fact, he stood in front of the camper's door, hidden in shadows, for a good two hours before finally garnering enough courage to take those last steps and knock on the door.

It was immediately swung open. It was Omi who greeted him and eagerly asked him to enter.

This time all four Weiss members were present. Aya, Yohji, Omi and 'him'. Ken. Nagi avoided looking at 'him' as he seated himself by the window. Exactly where he had sat last time. Aya, Yohji and Ken sat in the living room. Yohji and Ken on the couch, Aya on the other side of the room on a chair. Omi sat across from Nagi.

"We spoke to Kritiker." Omi said, wasting no time. He was excited, and it showed clearly in his smile and his bright eyes, "They can't trust you immediately, of course, but they are willing to give your members the benefit of the doubt."

"They will grant Schwarz a commission, enough to last three months. They have provided a place for Schwarz to stay in those three months." Aya took over when Omi paused.

"You will be staying at the _Cheriphyle._ Your rooms will be closely monitored." Omi said, almost apologetically.

"They are going to accept us into Kritiker?" Nagi asked, uncertain what he was being told.

"No." Aya answered shortly, "You will stay with Weiss during the next three months. We will train you, and we will evaluate you. If during this time we have reason to believe you are lying about your decision to join Kritiker, or your decision to leave the collective, we have been ordered to execute you."

Omi winced, seemingly uncomfortable with Aya's speech, "After the three months are over," he said quickly the moment Aya finished his sentence, "Kritiker will consider allowing the individual members of Schwarz to join, however it will be under the condition that your team will be split up. Schwarz will no longer exist."

"No." Nagi whispered, closing his eyes tightly and forgetting a moment. He could hardly bear the thought of being taken away from Schwarz. They were his family. Weaknesses, and strengths. Good and bad. They were all he'd ever known. All he ever wanted 'to' know.

"It's the only way. At least, for a while. You have been enemies of Kritiker for a while, Nagi," Omi said gently, "Together, as a team, even within Kritiker, you would be a great threat."

"'Especially' within Kritiker." Yohji spoke for the first time that evening.

Nagi nodded, swallowing to clear the lump from his throat. He opened his eyes and licked his dry lips. "For three months?"

"We will train you in hand to hand combat, and how to use certain weapons. We won't take you on missions, unless we feel you are adequately prepared, but we will teach you a little bit about being human, and an assassin." Aya responded.

"Where will I stay? The _Cheriphyle?_"

"No. During the evaluation period you are forbidden to have any contact with your former teammates. You will remain here, with us. You will live as a member of Weiss." Aya's cold, impersonal tone did nothing to calm Nagi's fears.

But it wasn't Aya he was worried about. His eyes darted to 'him', Ken, of their own will. He was startled to find brown eyes fixed on him. He flushed deeply, looking away quickly. "Why me?"

"As the youngest, and a telekinetic, you seemed the least threat." There was a certain measure of mirth in Yohji's tone, and Nagi could hardly blame him. 

Of all the members of Schwarz, Nagi was the youngest, yes, but with his gift he was also the most powerful. "You are also the only one we have spoken to, as of yet." Omi leaned across the table, laying his hand in the center, "Nagi, we have just as much blood on our hands." He said softly, "But, we kill for justice. Not for power."

Nagi stared long and hard at Omi's hand. It was a nice hand, but calloused, something he had not been expecting. This was the hand of a boy who had worked hard in his life. Someone who had handled more crossbows then he cared to count. Someone who had experience. Someone Nagi wanted to trust.

"Schwarz accepts Kritiker's offer of evaluation. I will return in the morning to begin my training."

-End of Chapter One-  
TBC

Notes: I finally figured out how to properly use the grammatik and spell checker in WordPerfect (after gathering enough courage to 'use' WordPerfect). This is the revised version of chapter one with quite a few little mistakes fixed. I might post a further revision at a later date if I go over this chapter again and find other little mishaps.

Point of interest. Spell checker tried to replace Omi with Obi. Incidentally this made me think of; Omi wan kinomi. I need a life, or perhaps just more sleep if that sort of thing amuses me.

Another point of interest, spell checker had no clue what to do with Schuldich, Yohji, and Aya. BUT it did accept Nagi, Ken and Crawford as names. This isn't so odd, except for accepting Nagi. 

Thank you to everyone for being kind about my Kritiker/Estet mess-up. I would feel embarassed but everyone was much too kind for me to 'be' embarassed.


	2. Chapter Two

In Black and White  
By: Libitina

  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters depicted here. I am just borrowing them to have a little fun with my imagination.

Warnings: Shonen-ai content (in later chapters). This chapter contains some mild cursing. 

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He could remember his mother screaming.

'Whore.'

Blood. Pain. Screams. Blood. Pain . . . 

'Liar.'

His eyes snapped open with a ragged gasp. He was not alone. There were others in the room. A man with long copper red hair and hazel eyes that seemed to almost shift color under the light. Beside the redhead was a man with short black hair and glasses that perched on the end of his nose as he read a book lying in his lap. They were both seated and talking quietly. Meaningless words. His eyes studied them both, noting the way the redhead leaned toward the man with glasses and the way the man with glasses responded.

He knew where he was, through a very faint memory. A memory from the other. The other who left him as the gifts had left the other members of Schwarz. They thought his gift was immunity to pain. They were wrong. His gift was Farfarello. The personality who protected him from life. From pain.

From the memories.

Pain.

Blood.

Screams.

Betrayal.

Guilt.

Hatred.

He lifted his hands, pressing them hard against his temples and trying to block all the mixed emotions. But only Farfarello could do that. Without Farfarello he could not hide from the emotions, nor could he ignore them. Without Farfarello he was just Jei. A human boy with no special gifts, or ability to cope.

A human boy who had murdered far too many times.

Shaking fingers slipped lower than his temple, moving to rest against his uncovered left eye. He traced the scars there, drawing strength from the memory of the other inside him. The other was not dead. He was simply asleep. Buried deep in the depths of his mind. Resting for a while to escape reality. But asleep though he may be, Jei could still hear his voice, whispering softly. Chanting, almost, words that made no sense, and yet words that he understood all too well.

He listened for a moment, then turned his gaze on the men. He knew their names, though he could not seem to draw upon the memory long enough to speak them. These men were Farfarello's companions. He feared them, just as he feared Farfarello. As he stared at them, a pair of intelligent green eyes ensnared him. He could not look away, and he could not hide.

"Farfarello?" The redhead, Schuldich, Jei could remember the name now, spoke quietly as if he was speaking to a frightened child.

Jei shook his head slowly, not yet ready to speak. 

"Jei." The other spoke now. His tone deep and rich. He peered at Jei over the rim of his glasses, "It has been a while, my friend."

Jei let out a soft sigh, nodding his head. "Yes." He murmured, and suddenly he was no longer scared. He got to his feet, surprised at how weak his legs felt. But the transition must have taken time. Perhaps a day or two, or a month. He couldn't be sure. As Farfarello retreated and he returned he had been aware of nothing outside of himself. 

"Brad."

Chapter Two -The Plan-

'Schwarz accepts Kritiker's offer of evaluation. I will return in the morning to begin my training.'

The room was silent. They sat together. Each lost in his own thoughts. Yohji, Ken and Omi on the couch. Shoulder to shoulder. Sometime ago Omi had adjusted his position so he was sitting with his legs over Yohji's lap and his back against the armrest. Aya sat alone, on the chair across the living area. He was turned in his seat so he could gaze out the window.

Ken licked his dry lips nervously. He would have gotten up to get a drink, but he didn't think his legs would support him. 'I will return in the morning to begin my training.' He shivered, reaching up to run a shaking hand through his hair. The boy would be returning. Soon. Far too soon. He felt ill, and excited at the same time.

Nagi Naoe.

Nagi Naoe was going to be living here, with him, for three months.

"Ken-kun?"

Omi's soft voice jerked him out of his thoughts. He turned his head to look at Omi, hoping his cheeks weren't as flushed as they felt. "Are you okay, Ken-kun? You look ill."

"You've been looking ill since Schwarz showed up on the doorstep." Yohji commented, laying his hands on Omi's knees to keep them in place as he stretched his own legs out.

'Great,' Ken thought, looking quickly away. He noticed Aya had abandoned the window to stare at him, 'Just great.' "I'm fine." He said aloud.

"It's kind of strange, isn't it? Thinking of a member of Schwarz joining Kritiker. Not just a member, but the whole group." Omi mused, resting his elbow on the back of the couch and then leaning his head against his hand.

"Schwarz won't be joining Kritiker." Aya said shortly, eyes still on Ken.

Omi was quiet for a moment, "Yes, but, ex-Schwarz members will be."

"No." Yohji rubbed the area around Omi's knee with firm but kind fingers, "They won't be."

"But our orders-"

"Do you really believe Kritiker would trust men who belonged to Schwarz?" Aya asked, interrupting Omi, "Kritiker has one intention, and one intention alone. Welcome Schwarz, get them to open up, and then find out everything about the collective."

The collective was an organization Kritiker knew very little about. In fact they had first heard about the collective 'from' Schwarz, during their last encounter with Weiss. They knew enough, though. Enough to know they needed to find out more.

"And after that?" Omi whispered, looking very disturbed.

The look in Aya's gaze, as he glanced at Omi's troubled face, was answer enough. The group was silent once more. Omi shivered, dropping his hands into his lap and staring down at them. Yohji sighed, reaching out and laying his hand over Omi's.

Ken watched as Omi lifted his head and smiled shyly at Yohji. 

'And after that?' The unanswered question weighed heavily on his mind. It weighed heavily on the mind of all of Weiss, he imagined. He stared at Yohji's hand, covering Omi's smaller one. Omi wasn't much older than Nagi. Maybe two years or so. What would it feel like if something happened to cripple Weiss and they had to seek assistance from Schwarz? Would they send Omi, their youngest member, to ask for help? Would they allow him to spend three months in the hand of their enemies?

He couldn't imagine it. He knew Yohji would die before letting Omi go, and he knew he himself wouldn't allow it. He wasn't sure about Aya, though he had a feeling Aya would frown heavily upon Omi going to stay with Schwarz.

So how could Schwarz send Nagi? Nagi was younger, and less able to take care of himself than Omi. Without his power, anyway. With his power he could handle himself quite well. Sometimes. Even with his power he had his weaknesses. Ken knew this from experience.

He winced as the memory tried to present itself. He shook his head to push it aside and focused on Aya, who was staring out the window once again. As if his life wasn't complicated enough. The morning loomed before him, and he dreaded going to sleep for fear it would come even sooner.

"He must be scared."

Ken looked at Omi with surprise, "Scared?" He queried, not quite understanding Omi's comment. He wondered if Yohji and Omi had been talking and he had just been too absorbed in his thoughts to hear. But no, that couldn't be because Yohji looked as confused as he felt.

"Nagi. He must be scared. I know I would be." Omi said quietly, "I wonder why they sent him. He's just a child."

"He's as much a child as you are." Aya got to his feet, "You would do well to remember that."

"I suppose." Omi sighed, closing his eyes and leaning his head against the back of the couch.

"You'll be responsible for him, Yohji." Aya said as he headed down the hall.

"Yohji? But I wanted to . . ." Omi's voice trailed off when Aya turned and looked at him.

"You wanted to calm his fears and make him feel comfortable." Aya said, sounding tired and for a brief moment Ken could see just how bothered by this situation the quiet redhead was. "Right now he doesn't need your kindness, or your friendship. Yohji will be less likely to feel sorry for Nagi and be blinded by his perceived innocence."

"Are you saying I have bad judgement?" Omi asked, sitting up straight and giving Aya an angry look.

"Yes." Aya answered easily, "You do. We will all be tempted, but we need to be objective. We need to see Nagi for what he was, not what he is." He paused, letting his words sink in, "Schwarz." The word was spoken with such disgust and malice that Ken shivered and gritted his teeth.

"I'll take him." Yohji said.

"Nagi will join Yohji in his room then. Omi, you will stay with Ken and me." Because the camper was so small they had to share rooms. More often then not they rotated, Ken and Omi together in one room for one night, then Omi and Aya sharing a room the next. It really just depended on who was doing what and when. "No one else will share a room with him."

"I'll sleep on the couch." Ken couldn't imagine he, Omi and Aya all fitting on one of those beds together. It was hard enough getting two people onto them comfortably.

"All right. It's decided. Now I'm going to get some rest." With that Aya turned and he did not hesitate again in his path to the room.

When the door closed behind Aya, Yohji let out a loud and rather dramatic sigh. He lifted his arm and wrapped it around Omi's shoulder, tugging the smaller boy into his lap. "And here I thought we had successfully removed that stick from his ass."

Omi gasped, giggled and slapped Yohji's arm, "Yohji-kun," he scolded, "He's just tense about this new . . . assignment."

Ken really didn't want to sit around and watch Yohji and Omi cuddle, so with a resigned sigh he got to his feet, "Good night." He said quietly, before walking down the hall. Sleep seemed to be his only option. 

Aya was undressed and under the covers already. Ken stood in the doorway, studying his friend. Aya opened one eye and gave Ken an odd look, as if to say; why are you standing there staring at me?

Ken ducked his head, hoping that the heat he could feel in his face didn't translate into a blush. 'Yeah, that's great Hidaka, stare at the man like the fool you are.' He tugged off his shirt, throwing it carelessly on the floor, then undid his pants and sat on the bed before pulling them off as well. He and Aya both slept naked. It had never been a problem. Aya was straight as they got, so when he shared a bed, with any other guy, sleeping naked was never something he felt awkward about. Or at least, this was the impression Ken got.

Personally, there were nights when they shared a room that Ken felt . . . strange. After all, Aya Fujimiya was a good-looking man, and Ken had had more than one inappropriate dream about him. 'How ironic,' Ken thought as he removed his underwear and slipped under the covers beside Aya, 'The most gay looking member of Weiss, is the only straight member.' That he knew of anyway. He was fairly certain Yohji and Omi were together and he knew he wasn't straight. He wasn't gay either, but he was bi.

Aya moved, and Ken let out a shaky gasp as their shoulders brushed together. "Something wrong?" Aya spoke quietly, though he didn't need to. It's not as if there was anyone to disturb. 

"What . . . what if he attacks?" Ken whispered.

"Then we kill him."

Ken shuddered, hating the cold, impersonal way Aya said that. As if killing Nagi Naoe didn't bother him in the least. And maybe it didn't. After all, Aya didn't see Nagi as anything more than a member of Schwarz. Ken, on the other hand, was well too aware of the fact that Nagi was a child first, and Schwarz second.

A child.

Just a baby. Forced to live a life no man should live.

'I have to stop thinking about him!' Ken closed his eyes tightly. "That doesn't bother you? He's just a child."

"If the situations were reversed, Schwarz wouldn't hesitate to murder Omi."

Those solemn words were the last Aya spoke. Ken made no further attempt to speak to Weiss' solemn redhead as he lay staring at the roof. 

'If the situations were reversed, Schwarz wouldn't hesitate to murder Omi.'

'So does that make it all right, for us to be like them?'

Omi sighed heavily the moment Ken was gone. He leaned against Yohji's chest, finding comfort in the arms of his closest friend. "So, sweetheart, now that they're gone, you can tell me all about your love life." Yohji said, stroking Omi's back and bending his head to kiss the top of Omi's head.

Omi blushed furiously, immediately trying to move out of Yohji's embrace, "I should have never told you!"

Yohji refused to let go, so Omi gave up and just sat there. "But you did. How was it?"

Omi ducked his head, "Yohji~kun, I hardly think it's appropriate to be talking about this!"

"You're the one who asked my advice."

"Yes, but . . . "

"I'm dying to know how things went, so spill!"

"I told her I wanted to . . . " Omi swallowed, "To be with her."

"And?"

"She . . . uh, she laughed and said she thought I'd never ask."

"Oh hoh!" Yohji laughed, squeezing Omi's shoulders for a moment, "So you got lucky, eh, pretty boy?"

Omi slapped Yohji's arm but nodded and smiled, "Yeah. It was . . . " He reached up to cover his face so Yohji wouldn't see his blush, "It was magic."

"The first time always is. So little Omi lost his virginity. We should celebrate." Yohji gently removed Omi from his lap and got to his feet. He strode over to the fridge and flung it open to look for something to celebrate with.

"Yohji-kun, I don't think now is the time to be celebrating." Omi protested, rubbing his face furiously.

"Nothing to celebrate with anyway." Yohji said closing the fridge and then leaning against it. He studied Omi from across the room.

"You love this girl?" He asked after a long time of silence.

Omi nodded, "Yeah. I know some people said that after I . . . well, you know, that I would lose interest in her, but I love her just as strongly now as I did before." 

"Good. Don't fuck around with her feelings Omi. Don't ever use love to manipulate someone into doing what you want." Yohji said with a sudden fierceness that startled Omi.

"I wouldn't." Omi said, biting his lower lip nervously. He hated this side of Yohji. This grim, jaded side. He didn't see it often, since Yohji was a master at hiding his true self. When he saw this side of Yohji, he was reminded that Yohji was someone who had been hurt, a lot. Someone who was hiding behind masks. He wanted Yohji to be the older brother figure he'd always been. Strong, indestructible, and infallible. That was who he needed Yohji to be.

And that was who Yohji always was for him. The moment passed and Yohji smiled, "Time for bed, Ommitchi."

Omi nodded, "Yeah, I guess." He stood and smiled as Yohji walked over and playfully swept him off his feet into his arms. "Put me down!"

"Nope. If I can't celebrate with you, the least I can do is give you a lift." Yohji winked down at Omi before carrying the boy to the room they'd be sharing for the night.

It was a strange friendship. Born more out of mutual hatred then an actual liking for each other. The night was cold, and sometime during the evening Jei wrapped himself around Nagi's smaller form. There was mutual warmth, though Nagi ended up being warmer than Jei. The boy didn't move away from Jei's touch. Instead he lay quietly, not once waking from his light sleep. He trusted Jei enough not to be alarmed by Jei's touch.

It was this trust in him that confused Jei. He had known Crawford longer, and yet Nagi seemed to know him better. He had recognized the boy immediately when Nagi walked into their hideout earlier. Nagi had known. Long before he awoke that he was in control of the body. Nagi had known, and he didn't know how. Even Schuldich, the telepath, had had no clue. It bothered him, and scared him a little.

Sometimes he wondered if the boy didn't have more gifts than he let on. It wasn't unheard of. Some had two gifts, three, four . . . any number. Schwarz was specially trained in only one gift, so that they were superior in their use of that gift, but that didn't mean there wasn't the potential for more.

Schuldich, for example, was a telepath as well as an empath. So who knew what Nagi had hidden in the powerful little mind of his. 

It gave Jei a headache to think about it. He hugged Nagi tighter, shivering as the cold air of the night chilled his back. He looked across the room where Schuldich and Crawford slept. Side by side, but not touching. They never seemed to touch. He wondered what was between them, but soon pushed that thought aside. It didn't matter.

Nothing mattered. Just the boy in his arms, who was confusing him at the moment. "I'm glad you're back, Jei." 

It took Jei a moment to realize the boy in his arms had spoken. He lifted his head, trying to see Nagi's face. The boy's eyes were still closed and he looked asleep, but obviously he wasn't. "I never left." He said, lowering his head and absently stroking the cloth covering Nagi's stomach. He wondered if Nagi could feel the light touch.

"Hm, you did in a way. Farfarello isn't like you."

Nagi had never liked Farfarello, and Jei could hardly blame him after that one time. The time he didn't like to think about. "I'm sorry."

Nagi sighed, "I've forgotten already, you should too." He said, seeming to know instinctively what Jei was apologizing for.

"He hurt you." Jei said with difficulty. The memory was within him, and though he hadn't been the one to do it, he had been there. Unable to stop Farfarello. Just able to watch and cry in agony.

"No. He -almost- hurt me." Nagi corrected, "Leave it, Jei. Please."

Jei sighed, but nodded and pushed the painful memories aside. "Where were you?"

"Weiss. I was with Weiss."

Jei stiffened, "Why?"

Nagi was quiet for a long time, and Jei began to doubt his question would be answered. But finally Nagi sighed and spoke, "Nothing has changed. Farfarello's memories can answer that question better than I can."

"I thought they would have abandoned the plan after ..."

"It has not been abandoned, it has merely been ... re-evaluated."

"Losing our powers gave us the idea." Schuldich spoke, surprising Jei. He had not realized the telepath was awake. "Nagi visited Weiss and led them to believe we are completely crippled and have been abandoned by the collective," which was partly true. They weren't crippled, but they had been abandoned by the collective for their failures, "he pulled a very convincing sympathy act, and Kritiker has agreed to help Schwarz."

Jei shivered, touching upon Farfarello's memories and not liking what he saw at all. "So, the plan to destroy Weiss is still active?"

"Yes." Schuldich turned his head, his green eyes seeming to glow in the dim light of the room, "Active and well under way."

"You sent Nagi?" Jei didn't like the idea at all. He knew very well, even though he had been in the transition between Farfarello and Jei, that they had all temporarily lost their powers after the last battle. The psychic backlash from Nagi holding the building long enough for them to escape had been huge. Schuldich had been unable to access his power for three weeks after, and even now he was not quite as strong telepathically as he had been before. His strength was increasing every day though. And Crawford, Crawford's ability to see had been greatly compromised. His visions of the future were fleeting, and more disoriented than they had ever been.

And Nagi, the boy had no access to his power yet at all. The damage had been too great. They were certain his powers would return sometime in the future, they just didn't know when.

So he couldn't understand why they would send Nagi for this particular mission. Nagi, who was still damaged from their last big mission as Schwarz. The boy was weak, and should not be actively involved in anything to do with Schwarz until he had regained his powers, and his strength.

"If they probe him, they will find a burnt out brain. He still has no trace of his power in him. The gift has left him completely. There is no chance he'll slip up and blow our cover." It was Crawford who answered Jei's question.

Jei felt Nagi stiffen in his arms, and he wondered why as he squeezed the boy to try and comfort him. "Yes, but if they find out-"

"They won't." Crawford said shortly, "Nagi won't slip up."

Nagi shuddered, and Jei bent his head to lightly kiss the boy's cheek. The weight of the mission rested on Nagi's shoulders. Jei didn't like that at all. Especially considering the state Nagi was in. How could the boy defend himself without his power? Nagi knew nothing about self-defense. All he knew was his gift, and computers. That was all he had been trained to use.

"This is madness." Jei growled.

"Something you're quite familiar with." Schuldich snickered.

Jei heard Schuldich grunt in pain immediately after he spoke and he wished he had been watching so he could see what had caused Schuldich to make such a sound. "That's enough." Crawford said, control and mild anger in his voice, "Rest now. Nagi has an early start in the morning."

Rest? How could he hope to rest knowing what he now knew? As much as he trusted Crawford, he just could not feel comfortable with this plan. He started in surprise when he felt small fingers close over his tightly clenched fists, which were resting over Nagi's stomach.

"I won't fail." Nagi whispered.

Jei sighed and nodded. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again it was morning.

-End of Chapter Two-  
TBC

Notes: Sorry for the short chapters. This is the first version. In a few days I'll go over everything again just in case I missed anything.

Thanks to: Nashi, Shirogane, rikkali, Kenderlyn, Sphinx, Shaynie (I will be focusing on various characters, but no more than two during a chapter), Megane-chan, newtypeshadow, Atremis, SilverWolfe, Yanagi-sen (thank you. ^-^), mystik78, Freyja, Mookie, Joanna (and anyone else who may review this chapter at a later date).


	3. Chapter Three

In Black and White  
By: Libitina

  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters depicted here. I am just borrowing them to have a little fun with my imagination.

Warnings: Shonen-ai content (in later chapters). This chapter contains some mild cursing. 

***************************

The pain wasn't as bad as it had been before, so he could ignore it as he lay staring at the ceiling. He had been lying, lost in his thoughts, for hours. Ken had long ago fallen asleep. His light breathing was almost soothing. Aya turned his head, staring in the darkness of the room at the outline of Ken's form. They had always had an uneasy sort of relationship. He wasn't sure where they stood now. Not friends, surely, they weren't close enough for that. Acquaintances didn't suit them well either. Teammates seemed to be the only word to describe their relationship.

When he'd first met the honorable, impulsive soccer buff, Aya had hated him. Ken was everything he could never be. That wasn't a bad thing, since Ken was everything he never wanted to be. It hadn't been until he witnessed Ken's grief after Kase's death and betrayal that his hatred had faded. Since that time Ken Hidaka had become much like an addiction to him.

If he didn't get a daily dose, he grew tense and irritable. He didn't understand it, but he hadn't spent much time thinking about it since he didn't -want- to understand it. He was afraid of what he would learn about himself if he allowed himself to really 'think' about his feelings for Ken.

He closed his eyes, laying his hand over his stomach. The nights when he and Ken shared a room were always long. Having Ken so close that they often brushed each other's skin in sleep was agonizing. He had discovered really quick that Ken excited him. The scent, the feel, the look of him. Everything about him sent Aya's hormones into a tail spin. It took a great amount of self control not to roll over and just do something. Anything to alleviate the attraction that he felt.

It was only the knowledge that Ken was as straight as they came that stopped him from doing what he often wanted to do. If he somehow did feel tempted enough to make a move, he knew his advances would be quickly shot down. Ken would probably try to kill him if he knew what Aya was thinking. He knew the feeling. He'd wanted to kill himself when he'd first found himself reaching for Ken. 

It was foolish, and he just hoped with time it would go away.

With a sigh he sat up and ran a hand through his hair. He winced as that only caused the pain in his head to increase. He'd been suffering from headaches for the last few weeks. Some days were worse than others. He had a feeling today was going to be a bad day. He glanced at Ken's sleeping form. A really bad day.

Chapter Three -Introductions-

"Hi Nagi." Omi waved at the boy as Nagi and Yohji finally came out of the camper. When Nagi arrived earlier that morning Yohji had immediately taken him into the camper and sat him down to explain how their shop on wheels worked. And then he'd insisted Nagi change out of his grey uniform into something more casual. Omi was the closest to Nagi's size, so Yohji had 'borrowed' a pair of Omi's jeans and a light-blue turtleneck that made Nagi's eyes seem a lot lighter than they really were.

After tying an apron around Nagi's too slim waist, Yohji made Nagi eat and then finally had dragged Nagi outside. Nagi felt very strange. He stood awkwardly at Yohji's side and waved at Omi. The sweater was too long in the arms, so when his hands were down the ends dropped to his fingertips. The pants were also too big, so he'd rolled the bottoms up. They hung on his hips, but he hadn't been able to make himself ask Yohji for a belt. Thankfully the apron acted like a belt, he was just worried about what would happen when the apron came off.

"This," Yohji waved an arm dramatically, indicting the stands and flowers that had been set up, "is Kitten in the House. Our own little piece of home on the road."

"Oh." Nagi murmured, since he wasn't sure what he was expected to say.

"Don't worry. We won't ask you to make any arrangements. You have three months and it usually takes a good two years to learn how to make a good arrangement."

"Two years if you're slow like Yohji." Omi said with a grin and wink in Nagi's direction.

Nagi stared at the young man, hands clenching into tight fists. "Omi, is really a woman in a man's body, which would explain why all this is easy for him." Yohji responded, "I, on the other hand, am all male. That is why I am not allowed to make arrangements."

Omi stuck out his tongue at Yohji and turned, flashing a brilliant smile at a young lady who had snuck up behind him. "Good morning! How can I help you?"

Nagi turned his gaze from Omi to Yohji. "Your job, will be to water the plants. Simple enough task." Yohji said as he ducked under one of the stands. He bounced back up; a watering can in his hand. "Here." He held the can out to Nagi.

Nagi reluctantly took it. Water the plants? He glanced at the flowers and plants on the stands. Some were on the ground. "It's not hard," Yohji noticed Nagi's look and patted the boy's arm, "The hose is there, use that to fill the can up when it's empty. Then you stick your finger in the soil, like so," He demonstrated as he spoke, "And if it's dry, pour water in."

Nagi glanced down at the can, it had water in it already. He cautiously reached out and stuck his finger into the soil of a nearby flower. It wasn't dry, but it wasn't wet either. It was kind of in between. He glanced at Yohji questioningly. "Here, let me see," Yohji, once again, seemed to know what Nagi was thinking without the boy actually opening his mouth to speak. He checked the plant Nagi still had his finger in, "This one only needs a bit of water. Be careful not to give them too much."

Nagi nodded and lifted the can.

The rest of his morning was spent watering flowers and plants. Half of them he'd never seen before. Some were beautiful, and fragrant. Others were just odd to look at and strange to smell. He paid little attention to the customers who came to the outdoor shop. Some of them noticed him, especially the young ladies, but he ignored them as he did what he'd been told to do. On occasion he would look up and watch as Omi or Yohji dealt with a customer, but he never looked at them very long. He didn't want to be caught staring.

He felt like he was in a dream. A weird, twisted dream. When he finished watering the plants, he put the watering can where he'd seen Yohji get it from, and then he stood back and waited.

It was ten minutes before Yohji noticed Nagi standing there quietly. "Hey, little one, you done?"

Nagi stiffened at the nickname. He nodded slowly. "Well, then, I guess it's time to teach you how to handle the till. Come here."

Nagi walked over reluctantly. Yohji was a bit too friendly. He acted as if Nagi had always been around, and there was nothing the least bit odd about teaching him how to handle customer bills, and receipts. It made Nagi uncomfortable. He didn't like it at all. He would have preferred suspicion, wariness. He didn't know how to deal with this kindness.

He sat down and watched as Yohji and Omi moved around the kitchen area. It was a small, enclosed space, and yet somehow they moved around each other without inhibiting each other. Together they were making dinner. They chatted easily as they worked. About the day, about some girl Omi was dating. They acted as if everything was normal.

But it wasn't. Nagi clasped his hands in his lap, staring down at his feet. The pant leg on the right had unrolled and covered his toes. The conversation in the room faded away until all he could hear were his own thoughts. He hated being here. He was scared. 'He' hadn't shown up yet, but he didn't want 'him' to. He didn't want to deal with having to face Siberian . . . Ken Hidaka . . . 'Him'. He shuddered, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist and leaning forward.

The door opened and he looked up with fear. He knew who was coming, and wasn't at all surprised when Aya Fujimiya and Ken Hidaka stepped into the camper. They were wet. It had started raining early in the evening. It had been raining off and on for the last week. Ken's brown hair hung in his eyes, but even wet he looked good.

'No!' Nagi quickly ripped his eyes away and shook his head. Ken didn't look good. He couldn't look good. People like him weren't allowed to look good. It wasn't right.

He dimly heard Omi calling out greetings to the newcomers, and he 'felt' them move toward him, but he didn't look up. He couldn't make himself do so. He'd rather sit where he was, curled up upon himself and shivering with fear. He'd rather look weak and pathetic then look up and have to face the one he'd been trying to avoid all along.

Aya dropped his wet jacket on a seat by the table and moved into the living area. He moved past Nagi, then dropped into the chair across from the boy. It was the chair he always sat in. It was in the room and yet separate from everything and everyone else. Ken, much to Nagi's dismay, copied Aya's movements, all except for where he sat. Unlike Aya, who stayed away from Nagi, Ken sat on the couch beside Nagi. Only a small amount of space separating them.

Nagi felt as if he would die if he didn't breathe. He couldn't breathe so long as 'he' was beside him though. He waited anxiously. He wasn't sure what for. An attack? A movement? Anything, something, he didn't know what he just knew it wouldn't be good. "So, how was your first day?" Ken's voice was quiet, almost kind.

That was 'not' what he'd been expecting. Nagi turned his head and stared openly at Ken, shocked beyond all reason. 'How was your first day?' A question from 'him'. A question that could be considered . . . kind? It didn't make sense. It couldn't be right. He must have imagined it. He looked away quickly, pushing himself to the very corner of the couch, putting as much distance between himself and Ken as he could without actually standing and running from the camper.

"Nagi?"

He realized that eyes were on him. Everyone had heard Ken's question, and they were waiting for his answer. Aya was staring openly at him, and Omi was as well. Yohji was the only one not paying attention. The man continued to prepare dinner as if nothing odd was happening. 

"Are you okay, Nagi?" Omi asked, laying his hands on the table and staring at Nagi with concern.

Nagi looked at him, aware that he had to answer, but try as he might he couldn't make his lips work. He felt suddenly as if the weight of the world had dropped upon him. He felt dizzy, and heavy in the head. Everything seemed to be moving abnormally slow. He was hot, and yet shivering with cold. He was so scared he wanted to lie down and sob. Why did 'he' have to be here? Why?

He closed his eyes tightly, aware that his breaths were coming in little gasps but unable to do anything about it. He brought his knees up to his chest, and hid his face between them. Part of him knew what was happening. He was having a mild anxiety attack, but logic had nothing to do with his emotions at the moment. So as much as he could reason about what was happening he had no way of stopping it.

He felt a hand touch his shoulder, and he could hear voices. He thought one was calling his name but the noises didn't make sense anymore. All that did make sense were the fears running around his head. Yelling at him, screaming at him, clawing at him, ripping him apart from the inside out. When the hand moved from his shoulder to his back he let out a harsh cry and bolted to his feet. It was hard to move in pants that were too big and too long, harder yet to run. But somehow he managed to scramble down the hall and shut himself in the bathroom.

Somehow the little bit of privacy this gave him helped him to calm down.

"I had no idea he was so scared." Omi whispered, sitting down where Nagi had been moments earlier.

Ken was staring at the bathroom door, his brow furrowed and a troubled expression on his face. "Come and eat." Yohji, who had been leaning against the wall during Nagi's panic attack, was now seated at the table and eating the rice and ramen he and Omi had cooked.

Aya stood and walked to the table. He moved into the seat near the window. There was room at the table for four. Two with their backs to the window, one at either end. Ken moved to sit beside Aya by the window, but Omi moved to the bathroom. He knocked lightly, "Nagi? When you're ready, the food is done and you can come and eat." He called out softly.

He waited, but there was no response so he stepped away. He sat across from Yohji, looking very troubled. He made no move to eat as he stared at his teammates. "I feel like an ogre." He said suddenly, "Making him so scared."

"You're not the one who's scaring him, sweetheart." Yohji murmured, piling his fork full of the white rice and noodles.

"No. I am. We all are." Omi protested.

"Starving yourself won't ease his fears." Aya commented, shifting uncomfortably in his seat and accidentally bumping his knee against Ken's.

He didn't bother to apologize. He simply acted as if it hadn't happened and continued eating.

"It must be horrible." Omi rested his chin on his knuckles and turned his head to stare at the bathroom door, "In the lair of the enemy, with no way to protect yourself. It must be just terrible for him."

"I'll give him some self-defense lessons tomorrow, now eat." Yohji was almost done his own plate of food.

"What can we do to make things better for him?"

"Omi." Aya said sharply. He was growing irritated. There was no point whining over Nagi's current situation. Wondering and talking about it wouldn't make things better, especially with Nagi just down the hall. Close enough to hear if he was trying to. "There is nothing you can do. He -has- to deal with this himself."

Omi ducked his head, turning quite pink as he stared at his food. Ken suddenly pushed his food away and crawled over Omi's chair. The chair was right against the couch so he landed feet first on the couch. He hopped to the floor and walked to the door, grabbing his jacket from the peg on the wall where Yohji had hung it up. "Ken-kun? Where are you going?" Omi asked anxiously.

"For a walk. You want to come?" Ken hesitated at the door.

Omi glanced at Yohji and Aya, then he nodded and got to his feet, "Sure."

He sat on the toilet, hands clasped between his knees, staring numbly at his fingers. He felt like an idiot and he didn't want to come out. He was ashamed of his behavior earlier. Having a panic attack in front of all of Weiss? Things couldn't get much worse than that. Except, that is, unless they realized Schwarz's true plan. That would be a lot worse than having a panic attack.

He ran his fingers through his hair, sighing softly. Finally he gathered enough courage to get to his feet and open the door. He hesitantly stepped out of the bathroom, feeling his heart beat increase the moment he did. The camper was quiet. Yohji and Aya were sitting at the table, cards laid out before them. Nagi guessed they were playing some sort of card game, but he had no idea what game it was since he never played cards.

He stared at them, waiting for them to look up and notice him. They didn't. They just continued silently playing their game. He sucked in his breath and walked toward them. It was only when he stood directly beside Yohji that he was noticed. Yohji looked up, smiling when he saw Nagi standing beside him. "Hey, little one. Why don't you sit down and join us?"

Nagi hesitated, hardly noticing the nickname Yohji had pinned him with. He nodded, slowly sliding into the seat beside Yohji. He watched quietly as they played, "I don't know how to play." He said when it seemed they were done and Yohji was dealing a new hand.

"That's all right. I'll show you how. Move closer." Yohji continued dealing, laying thirteen cards in front of himself, Aya and Nagi. He laid the rest of the card's face down in the center of the table. Then he picked up his cards and spread them out in his hand so he could see them, but Aya could not. He turned his cards so Nagi could see them though. "Here, pick up your cards."

Nagi did as he was told. He was surprised at how hard it was to hold all the cards in his hand as Yohji was doing. "You have small hands," Yohji commented, sounding amused.

He began to explain the game to Nagi. Nagi listened carefully, feeling more and more confused as the game progressed. The only sound in the camper as they played was Yohji's voice when he would lean over and explain some point of game play to Nagi. Nagi found the quiet somehow calming. By the time the first hand was done he was feeling almost comfortable.

Almost normal.

"How old are you?" Half way through the second hand Aya finally spoke.

His question startled Nagi. "Fif . . . sixteen." He answered, frowning slightly. He had forgotten that his birthday had passed as Schwarz recovered. 

Schuldich had given him a night out on the town for his birthday. He remembered how bitterly Schuldich had complained that Nagi wasn't easy to get gifts for. In fact, Nagi owned few material things because they held little interest for him. So instead Schuldich had dragged Nagi along with him to a few bars. It had been fun, up until the point that he got so smashed he jumped on a table and started to do a strip tease. That had been humiliating.

Farfarello had been gone and Jei had still been in transition so he hadn't gotten anything from the pale Irishman. Crawford had given Nagi a soft; Happy birthday, and that was all. 

He smiled a little as he thought of Crawford's anger when he and Schuldich returned from their night on the town. The eldest member of Schwarz had been pissed. Nagi never found out why, but Schuldich knew and laughed so hard he nearly choked himself.

"You don't have much of a poker face, little one." Yohji said teasingly.

The smile disappeared from Nagi's face and he turned his body and his hand slightly so Yohji couldn't see his cards. Yohji laughed, "Your play."

Nagi waited tensely for more questions, none came. He started to relax and enjoy himself when Aya spoke again. "How old were you when you joined Schwarz?"

Nagi looked up, studying Aya's face. The other man was looking at his cards and didn't seem to notice Nagi staring at him. He licked his lips, glancing at Yohji who just smiled at him. "I... the collective claimed me when I was eight." He didn't like thinking about that time. The time before Schwarz. Before Crawford, Farfarello and Schuldich. During that time he had no one. "Schwarz . . . formed a few years after that."

"Claimed you?" Yohji asked, his voice soft and his green eyes impossibly kind. "How do you mean?"

"I... they heard about me and got me." Nagi shifted uneasily, not liking these questions. He could hardly refuse to answer, that wouldn't make Weiss trust him. He had to answer. He wished he had Schuldich's ability to lie, but even if he did he was quite sure they would know he was lying. They seemed able to peer into his very soul, much like Schuldich, only they weren't telepathic, so far as he knew.

"You were using your powers then?"

Nagi nodded, staring at the cards in his hand. They blurred and he had a hard time focusing on them. "Yes."

There were no more questions, and he was glad for it. They finished playing after the third hand and Yohji leaned back in his seat, stretching his long legs out and bumping Nagi's legs as he did. "Ah . . . " He rested his hands behind his head, a lazy smile curving his lips, "So, little one, you got a girlfriend?"

Aya snorted and stood, moving away from the table. Nagi watched him walk into the living area and drop on the couch, then turned his startled gaze onto Yohji. "N-no."

"Tsk, tsk." Yohji shook his head, "We'll have to work on remedying that. Nothing better than love to keep one occupied between missions."

"How . . . " Nagi swallowed to get the lump out of his throat, "How much time is there between missions . . . usually?"

"It varies. Sometimes a few hours, sometimes a few months." Yohji shrugged, "Just depends on how active the underworld is being."

Nagi shifted his legs back so they weren't resting against Yohji's any longer. He debated getting up, but then decided to stay seated where he was until Yohji moved first. "Tomorrow, I'm going to teach you self defense" Yohji said with a yawn, "You know anything about hand to hand combat?"

Nagi shook his head. All he knew he'd learnt from Farfarello and that couldn't be considered hand to hand combat. Farfarello had only taught him how to kill. But what Farfarello taught him could only be used if his target was unsuspecting. "Well, I'll teach you some stuff. I'll toughen you up a bit." He winked.

"All right." He could hardly say no. That was what he was here for, after all. For training and evaluation. 

"You want one?" Nagi glanced up at Yohji's question and he was surprised to see a cigarette being held out to him. He shook his head quickly, then watched as Yohji placed the cigarette between his lips and lit it with a match.

"Something's bugging you." Omi said softly, looking at his friend with concern.

Ken shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets and sighing deeply. "I guess." He muttered, knowing that it was useless to try and pretend with Omi. Omi knew him better than he knew himself.

"What is it? Is it Nagi?"

Trust Omi to hit the nail on the head, first try. Ken groaned, laughing shakily, "God, Omi. Why do you think?"

"This is more than just being bothered with Kritiker's orders, isn't it?" Omi asked with his usual sharp intelligence, "Ken-kun?"

"He scares me." Ken whispered, trying to hold back everything he was feeling but unable to do so. He had to talk to someone, and Omi seemed the best bet. Omi would understand, and Omi wouldn't judge him.

"Scares you? Ken-kun, I don't think he could harm a fly right now." Omi said with a little smile.

"No. It's not . . . it's not what he could that scares me. It's . . . it's what he makes me feel. Omi . . . "

"He seems especially scared by you, Ken-kun." Omi was putting the pieces together, as Ken knew he would, "And you have been really jumping since he showed up at the door. Ken-kun . . . what haven't you told us?"

Ken swallowed, licking his dry lips and trying not to burst into tears like an idiot. This was all such a damned mess. "I ki . . . I . . . I kissed him." He stuttered, all the blood rushing to his head when he realized that he had just said those words out loud. For all the world to hear . . . well, really, just Omi since Omi was the only one near enough to hear.

"What?!" Omi squeaked, grabbing Ken's arm and forcing the older man to turn and face him, "You what?! When? How!?"

"... it. It was during a mission. I guess . . . I guess he got hurt. He was bleeding, from the forehead and . . . he was really weak. I don't think he could use his power anymore. I kind of stumbled over him while trying to get the hell out of Schwarz's path. The mission was over and we were running, like we always seemed to do when Schwarz was involved." He hadn't told anyone, and as he spoke he felt as if a weight was slowly easing from his shoulders, "Anyway . . . he . . . I thought for sure he was going to slam me into a wall or something, but . . . he didn't move. He just stared up at me, his gaze unfocused. We stared at each other like idiots for . . . a while. I don't know how long really. It felt like forever. Then I realized that . . . that the reason he 'hadn't' kicked my ass was because he couldn't.

"I was an idiot . . . but he was so . . . so beautiful. Before I knew what I was doing I was on my knees in front of him. He flinched away, but didn't make a sound as I cupped his cheeks in my hands." He closed his eyes and could immediately see Nagi the way he'd been that night. A scared, beaten, and incredibly alluring child. "I don't know why I did it . . . but I . . . kissed him." He sighed heavily, opening his eyes and trying to push the memory aside, "He tasted like blood, and heaven. A dark angel . . . " and every bit as tempting.

"You kissed Nagi Naoe?" Omi gasped. He was gaping openly at Ken, unashamed of his own obvious shock. "You kissed Nagi Naoe when he couldn't fight back?!"

"He didn't fight back!" Ken responded, "He didn't yell or even tell me to stop! He just sat there, staring at me with those big doe eyes!"

"Why? Ken? Why?" Omi asked, voice lowered slightly as he tried to control himself.

"I don't know." Ken shook his head, wrapping his arms around himself, "God, I don't know Omi. I think I've always been attracted to him and . . . and he was there and I . . . I guess I was a little out of mind because of the mission and he looked . . . so beautiful and tempting."

"You've got a crush on him." Omi laughed nervously, reaching up to run a hand through his hair.

Ken rolled his eyes, then nodded miserably. Yeah. He did. He felt as if he always had.

"You don't know anything about him!" Omi snorted, "Crush isn't the right word. You're in 'lust' with him is what I should have said. Grief, Ken-kun, how could you? How would you feel if . . . if Schuldich kissed me while I was wounded during a mission?"

"You would have fought! You wouldn't have just sat there staring."

"He probably thought you were going to kill him!"

"He didn't cry out!"

"You shouldn't have kissed him! He was -Schwarz- for pities sake!"

"Pity has nothing to do with this!"

They stared at each other; Omi's jaw set and his eyes burning with confusion, Ken's eyes grim and his hands clenched into tight fists.

"What a mess." Omi whispered softly, letting out a huge sigh and slumping his shoulders.

"I know."

"You have to apologize to him, Ken-kun." Omi said, startling Ken.

"Wh-what?" He stared at Omi, eyes huge with surprise and a bit of fear.

"You have to apologize. It's obvious he's uncomfortable around you, and that might not change, but you need to apologize so he knows that you won't do it again."

"Kiss him?" He wanted to kiss Nagi again, which was part of the reason he was so scared to be around the boy.

"Yes. That is . . . " Omi paused, a sly smile tilting his lips, "Kiss him without his consent."

Ken flushed, looking away, "I . . . Omi, I . . . "

"You have to, Ken." As always when Omi was being serious the kun slipped off the end of Ken's name. The older Omi got, the more his old habits died, "It's the only way Nagi 'might' be able to start feeling comfortable with us."

Ken nodded slowly, "All right. Okay, fine. I'll . . . apologize."

Nagi lay perfectly still, shoulder pressed against the wall. Beside him Yohji was already sleeping. He didn't understand how the other man could sleep so easily. He had been lying awake for a while now, just listening to Yohji's light breathing. He wasn't comfortable. He felt awkward, and scared. He didn't really think Yohji would roll over and molest him, but he didn't trust Yohji 'not' to do that either.

He missed Jei.

He missed sleeping wrapped in an embrace that didn't threaten him. Although, if he went to sleep in Jei's arms and woke in Farfarello's he probably wouldn't feel the same way, but that had never happened so he was still very comfortable sleeping with Jei. Sure it was warm here, and there was food to spare, but he would take the cold cabin Schwarz was currently living in over this. Of course, his family wasn't sleeping in that cabin anymore. Right now they were safely tucked into a fancy hotel where they would be spending the next three months.

Schuldich was probably in heaven. Crawford too, if only because he would have some privacy. Some time away from Schuldich. Nagi wasn't sure what Jei would be feeling. Probably mild disorientation. He always felt disorientated for a while whenever Farfarello slept. It was hard for him to take over where Farfarello left off. Nagi wished he could be there with them. 

But he was doing this for them.

To get them back into the collective.

He turned his head, staring at Yohji. This was all for his family. He had to remember that. Especially when Ken was around and he felt like running. He had to stay strong. He had to do this. He had to complete his mission. He closed his eyes tightly. If only he had his gift. He wouldn't feel so scared if he did. 

He licked his lips nervously and began to gently pry. Feeling around his burned out brain. It hurt, but he touched upon the area where his gift lay. He whimpered, eyes snapping open. He could smell ash. Sulfur. He rolled onto his side, pressing his hands to his chest. Gone. His gift was still gone. 

He wasn't sure it would ever come back, and he didn't know what he would do if it didn't.

He resisted the urge to sigh as the smaller boy rolled over onto him. Small arms wrapped around his waist and Omi pressed his face into his chest. He lay still for a moment, uncertain if Omi was asleep or awake. When he decided Omi was asleep he hesitantly wrapped an arm around Omi's waist.

The only problem with sleeping with Omi, was that the boy was a hopeless cuddler. It didn't bother Omi in the least that they were both naked. He 'still' rolled over in his sleep and glomped Aya. Aya shook his head, a small smile tilting his lips. He remembered how much it had startled him the first time he found himself with a naked and sleepy Omi attached to his side. He had been horrified and nervous that he would get 'excited'. But he hadn't, and it had actually been kind of nice to have a human teddy bear. Teddy bear probably wasn't the right term for Omi. Teddy puppy was probably more appropriate.

A pink teddy puppy.

Aya bit his lower lip hard to stop himself from snickering at the mental image that thought brought up. He stroked Omi's side absently as he focused his attention on the roof. The pain was pounding so hard behind his eyes that he couldn't sleep. He hadn't been sleeping much recently though, so it wasn't a great loss to him.

It had been a strange day. Between Nagi's panic attack, and Ken and Omi's odd behavior upon returning from their walk. Not to mention his morning, which had been . . . odd. To say the least. He liked things this way though. Mixed up and confused. It was when things got quiet that he started to think about himself and what he was going to do with his future. As long as things were busy and keeping his mind occupied he was safe from self-reflection.

Ken and Omi.

Now there was an enigma. Ken had been noticeably nervous and jittery upon returning from the two and a half hour walk he took with Omi. And Omi . . . Omi had just been odd. Staring at Nagi, then Ken, then Nagi again. His eyes darting back and forth and odd expressions crossing his face. A sly smile, a worried frown, a puzzled flinch. It was all very suspicious. Yohji would know more about it, but he wouldn't have a chance to ask Yohji until later.

He was pleased with the way Nagi seemed to hover near and trust Yohji. That was definitely a good thing. It just made things easier in the end if Nagi trusted the one who was working with him. It was always good that Nagi was staying near Yohji, that just meant he wouldn't get into any trouble.

Despite popular opinion Yohji was the most mature and level-headed out of his fellow teammates. He would be less likely to slack off on a mission than Omi or Ken. Although, if a pretty woman was involved then all bets were off. Yohji was nothing if not a horny animal.

"Hmmm . . . " Omi sighed in his sleep and slung his leg over Aya's legs.

Aya stiffened instinctively, then relaxed and continued stroking the boy's side.

Another sleepless night loomed ahead of him, especially if Omi's hand continued laying where it was laying. He shifted uncomfortably and just succeeded in making the hand fall lower. He let out a soft hiss, laying perfectly still.

'Great . . . '

'Just great . . . '

-End of Chapter Three-  
TBC

Notes: Version one of Chapter Two. It may or may not be revised in the future. Depending on how many mistakes I find upon going over it later. Aya might seem a bit OOC in this chapter ... really they might all seem OOC but please remember this is set about a year after Weiss and some time before Gluhen. In fact, let's just say it's AU and Gluhen isn't going to happen since the events in this story are pretty much going to contradict anything in Gluhen. Thanks for reading.

Thanks to: SilverWolfe, Yanagi-sen (You're much too kind Yanagi-sen), Misura, Kaze, Shy (Ah, sorry about that. I just figured Omi's always gay. Why not make him straight once?). Also, thanks to anyone who may review this chapter in the future. 


	4. Chapter Four

In Black and White  
By: Libitina

  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters depicted here. I am just borrowing them to have a little fun with my imagination.

Warnings: Shonen-ai content (in later chapters). This chapter contains some mild cursing. 

***************************

"Jei? C'mon Jei, this isn't funny." A tired sigh and then more banging, "Jei, open the goddamned door!"

Jei squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his hands harder against his ears. He couldn't hear. He didn't want to hear. //"Open the door,"// Schuldich's voice hissed in his head, bouncing off the walls of his skull, //"or I swear by whatever gods you believe in that I'll grab Farfarello by the scruff of his deranged neck and pull him right back into control. You hear me?"//

Jei shuddered, scrambling to his feet and wincing in pain. He grabbed the door knob and fumbled with it. His fingers were shaking badly now. Schuldich's words had awakened the fear of death in him. He swung the door open and stepped back, watching Schuldich warily.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Schuldich snapped, pushing his way into the room and pacing over to the bed, "Huh? What sick little deluded voice are you listening to? What made you think it was all right to do that?"

"You don't need them." Jei said, lifting his chin and narrowing his eyes. He was Farfarello. He could handle this. He had nothing to be afraid of.

"Don't need? You have no fucking clue! Where are they!?" Schuldich ripped the blankets off the bed, then dropped to his knees and looked under the bed. "Where are they, Jei!"

"You don't need the-"

"You have no clue what I need you miserable little cunt!" Schuldich got to his feet and knocked the lamp off the night stand. He searched the night stand frantically. Swinging each drawer open and growling when he saw every one was empty.

Jei backed up to the door. Schuldich's anger, when incited, was never a pleasant thing to behold. He rarely lost control, so he had little experience with getting it back. He let out a startled yelp when he bumped into a body. He whirled around, relieved to see Crawford was the on he'd bumped into. Crawford's deep blue eyes were fixed on Schuldich, who was now searching the drawers of the dresser. 

He held out his hand. Jei reached into his own pocket and quickly dropped the little white envelope he'd stolen from Schuldich' room earlier onto Crawford's palm. Crawford tucked the envelope into his coat pocket while Schuldich's back was still turned to them. "He doesn't have them, Schuldich." He said calmly.

Schuldich jumped, slamming the drawer he had been searching shut and stalking across the room. "What do you know? Where are they?" His voice was deadly cold now. No longer loud with desperation.

"They're gone." Crawford moved around Jei so he was standing directly in front of Schuldich, "And you won't be getting anymore."

"Fuck." He sneered into Crawford's face. American swear words had always been his favorite, especially when he discovered Crawford's lineage. He stepped around Crawford and brushed past Jei on his way out of the room.

"Where are you going?" Crawford asked calmly, back still to the door.

"To get more."

"You're not jeopardizing this mission." Said coldly and with control.

Schuldich hesitated, his hand reaching out and grabbing the door frame. His shoulders sagged and his head dropped. Jei stepped away, watching with a certain measure of pity. "I can't handle this." His voice was a mere whisper, Jei had to strain to make sense of the words.

Crawford turned and stepped over, laying his hand on Schuldich's shoulder. "How bad is it?" His voice was uncommonly gentle. There was compassion in him, Jei knew this, it was just rarely seen that it was surprising.

Schuldich whirled suddenly. His arms wrapped around Crawford's waist and he buried his head in Crawford's chest. His body was shaking, Jei could see this clearly from where he stood. "Please." Schuldich's voice was the despairing whimper of a hurting child, "Please. I ~need~ it. Please."

Crawford returned Schuldich's fierce embrace. He dropped his head, kissing the side of the dull red head pressed against his chest. "You don't need it. You want it, but you don't need it." He said softly.

Schuldich growled, "Fuck you." He pushed against Crawford's chest, stumbling away from the embrace. He presented his middle finger to the leader of Schwarz, them stormed down the hall.

Crawford sighed, reaching up to push his glasses higher up on the bridge of his nose. He turned his deep gaze onto Jei. "When did he get them?"

"Early this morning. I found them by accident." Jei said quietly. He had known what they were immediately upon laying eyes on them. Magic powder, condensed into pill form. They enhanced your gifts. Made them more powerful, more extreme. It created a mental high not quite like any other drug on the 'human' market. Schuldich had been an addict before joining Schwarz, and it seemed he was falling into old habits.

"If you ever find them on him again, I want you to take them."

Jei nodded, "I know."

Crawford stared at the open doorway for a long time before speaking, "How are you doing?"

"How do you mean? Farfarello hasn't tried to resurface..."

"I don't care about him. I want to know how 'you' are doing." Crawford fixed his gaze on Jei. 

Jei found he couldn't look away. He reached up, tracing his finger over the scars on his left eye. "I miss..." He stopped himself before the word slipped out.

Crawford's lips tilted. It wasn't a smile though. More like a grimace. "I'm sorry."

Jei shook his head quickly, "Not your fault."

"It is. If Farfarello does begin to surface, tell me." And then he left, leaving Jei alone to clean up the mess Schuldich had left behind.

Chapter Four -Over Emotional-

Time passed swiftly. He got used to life with Weiss a lot easier than he thought he would. They weren't bad, and for the most part he didn't spend time with 'him', so it wasn't very hard. The evenings were the only time he felt uncomfortable, but during the day he did all right. He actually started to have some fun, and he certainly learned to respect Yohji Kudou. The man was incorrigible at times, but he was also very honorable.

A muted version of Schuldich, which is why Nagi trusted him. Hand to hand combat turned out to be a lot harder than he thought it would be. He was small and had little power behind him. But Yohji was patient and worked with him for a few hours every day.

Before he knew it three weeks had passed, and he felt as if he'd always been where he was.

He looked up from watering the roses, shocked when he saw a very familiar form across the table from him. "Jei!" He gasped, then put the watering can down and looked around to see if Ken and Yohji (who were outside with him) had heard. They were busy with customers and had their backs to him.

"Hello Nagi." Jei said softly, smiling.

"What are you doing here?" Nagi asked anxiously.

"They said we couldn't live together, they didn't say I couldn't come to visit." Jei said with a little laugh. He reached out, grabbing Nagi's hand. "Look at you. You've gained weight."

Nagi felt heat fill his face. He glanced at Yohji and Ken once again. The customers were gone and Yohji had turned and was heading his way. "Go! Before they see you." He hissed.

Jei shook his head, "No." He said firmly, "Nagi. I'm not going anywhere until I get to talk to you."

"Hello, hello," Yohji said cheerfully as he came up behind Jei, "How can I he-" His greeting cut off when he recognized the face of the man grasping Nagi's hand.

Jei looked at Yohji, his gaze steady and unashamed. "Lovely day for a walk." He said evenly, lips tilting in the shadow of a smile, "Mind if I steal him for a bit?"

"Actually. I do. If you want to take him for a walk, then I'm going to have to insist someone go with you two." Yohji responded, his tone just as even.

Ken had noticed the newcomer, and was now standing beside Yohji. "Ken. Go with them."

"No!" Nagi gasped before he could think to stop himself. He noticed three sets of eyes pin him. Confused green eyes, worried gold eyes and dark brown eyes. He looked down at his feet, "I... I... I mean, I don't want to go for a walk."

"Nagi. It's been three weeks. I just want to know how you're doing." Jei said, keeping his tone carefully subdued.

"I'm fine!" Nagi pulled his hand out of Jei's grasp, "See? I'm fine. I'm fat. I'm ... I'm warm. I'm not being beaten, or brainwashed. I'm fine!" His agitation was born more from the thought of having to go for a walk with Jei and Ken, then anything else.

As always anytime Ken was near he turned into a complete idiot. He stepped back, shaking his head quickly and trying to clear his thoughts. The three men staring at him were all startled by his outburst, but he couldn't stop. 

Jei placed his hands on the table. He gave Yohji a decidedly unfriendly look, "What have you done to him? He's an emotional wreck."

Yohji rolled his eyes, "That doesn't have anything to do with him having to deal with murdering innocent people since the time he was a baby? Yeah. Sure. We have him for three weeks and let him live a semi-normal life and 'we're' the ones who've made him an emotional wreck."

"He never had problems with his emotions. He was always perfectly composed." Jei countered, "He certainly neve-"

"SHUT UP!" It was too surreal. He spun on his heel and ran from the scene that was more like a bad dream than reality.

Jei was right. He was a wreck. He didn't hide from his emotions anymore. He couldn't. Panic attacks. Emotional outbursts. Fear so intense he could barely breath. It was insane, but he couldn't stop..

He wasn't sure how long he ran, or where he was really, but when his legs felt like jello and they couldn't hold him up any longer he collapsed and just knelt on the ground panting for air.

What was he going to do?

There were nine weeks left. He couldn't leave. Much as he wanted to escape the madness that surrounded Ken Hidaka. He bent forward until his forehead rested against the cool grass. He dug deep within himself, searching for the gift. The gift had brought him control. The gift had been what gave him confidence in himself. The gift was his strength.

He dug desperately, touching upon it and crying out in pain. This time he didn't withdraw with the pain. He pushed, harder and harder, trying to grasp what he needed.

Around him a heavy wind began to blow. The grass bent, and the leaves were ripped off the trees and began to swirl in the air.

Jei and Yohji stared at each other. Nagi's little outburst had been a shock to them both. Nagi Naoe wasn't the type to have such outbursts. But then, neither was he the type to have a panic attack. Jei sighed and shook his head, "It's just what I thought."

"We 'aren't' abusing the kid." Yohji said sharply, looking at Ken, "You'd better go after him."

Ken nodded and reluctantly, or so it seemed to Jei, headed off in the direction Nagi had run. "I know you're not." Jei smirked, "That's not what I meant. Do you know anything about him?"

"Not much. He joined the collective when he was nine or something like that." Yohji responded cryptically. He watched Jei closely, warily.

"He witnessed his mother being brutally raped." Jei said bluntly, "That's when the gift came upon him. Crushed the bastard who was attacking his mother. If Schuldich wasn't exaggerating, he crushed him from the inside out. It was a messy scene, apparently. His mother wasn't very happy. She was scared of him. Her little devil child. She brought him to a church to have the priest pray over him, then conveniently forgot him there when she headed home."

Yohji watched Jei with narrowed eyes, trying to figure out why Jei was sharing such personal information with him.

"He was a baby." Jei murmured, forgetting for a moment who Yohji was. "The collective heard about him and claimed him. They taught him about his gift, and he, in turn, buried himself in the gift. He stopped being a boy, and started just being the prodigy. The prodigy didn't feel. The prodigy didn't have to deal with fear, guilt, shame, pain, or love, joy, excitement. It was a double-edged sword, but it was a relief from what he'd had to deal with before. He was our prodigy. A little machine. Perfectly composed." 

Jei rubbed his thumb against the table top and watched thoughtfully. His lips tilted, "This is the first time I've seen him show any real emotion."

"Your point?"

"I didn't like the idea of him being here, but I think Weiss will be good for him. Maybe you'll teach him about the boy, Nagi, and help him forget the prodigy." Jei carefully snapped a rose off it's stem and held it to his nose. "Hmm... tell him I said goodbye."

"Nagi?" Ken stared at the wild leaves swirling all around him. He felt like he was in the center of a tornado. He reached up, grabbing at a few leaves that whirled past his head.

Abruptly the leaves dropped to the ground and the heated wind stopped. Ken clenched the leaves in his hand tightly, staring at the small form curled up just a few feet from him. He could see Nagi's back rising and falling as the boy gasped for air. Ken opened his mouth to speak, only to realize he had no idea what to say.

Nagi slowly turned, and soft grey eyes that were normally so devoid of any emotion stared at Ken with abject fear. Ken winced, shifting his weight to his left foot uneasily. He didn't want Nagi looking at him like that. It made him feel like the world's biggest ass. Maybe he -was- the world's biggest ass and no one had bothered to tell him yet. Not even Omi, who knew his secret now. But Omi was much too kind to tell Ken what an ass he was, so he couldn't trust Omi's opinion.

"I'm sorry."

"I didn't know!"

The two stared at each other in surprise. They had spoken at the same time. Ken soft and hesitant, Nagi fast and agitated. Ken smiled, trying to ease Nagi's fear, "You didn't know what?"

"That... that my powers... that I can..." Nagi trailed off, looking very confused.

"When did they return?" Ken queried, kneeling down so they were eye level.

"They... they haven't really but if I ... try very hard I can touch them." Nagi said very softly, eyes still wide with trepidation.

Ken nodded, "Well, it was only a matter of time before they returned, right? They're part of you."

Nagi looked surprised at this, but he nodded, not speaking. Ken opened his hand and stared down at the crumpled leaves he was holding. "So, um... I haven't been able to catch you alone." He said awkwardly, "I really wanted to talk to you about... well, that time."

Nagi was quiet, so Ken continued, "I just wanted to apologize." He blurted, "I shouldn't have done what I did. You know, the uh... the kissing. I guess, um, I guess I wasn't thinking too straight, just then."

Nagi moved and Ken raised his eyes to watch as the boy crossed his legs and rested his hands on his knees. He couldn't read the expression on Nagi's face, but at least the boy wasn't looking scared anymore. Maybe a little puzzled, but not scared. "I can't say I didn't enjoy it," Ken whispered, startling himself by saying that aloud, "But I won't do it again!" He added quickly, "I swear, Nagi. I won't ever do that again. No matter how messed up I am in the head. I have definitely learnt my lesson, and now I know it makes me feel like shit to kiss defenseless little kids." Probably not the best choice of words, he knew this as he watched Nagi flinch and look away.

"I mean-"

"Ken? Nagi?" Ken stopped speaking when he heard his name being called. He looked up and watched with a little mental sigh as Omi walked over to them, "What are you guys doing?"

"Just taking a break." Ken said quickly, easily lying, "I was feeling a little fuzzy, being around all that pollen all morning, so Nagi agreed to go for a little break with me."

It wasn't a terribly solid lie, he could tell from the odd look Omi gave him, but it was the best he could do under the circumstances. Omi, of course, knew Ken's little secret so the idea that Nagi would willingly go anywhere with Ken seemed slim at best. Nagi got to his feet, but the moment he was upright he wavered unsteadily and reached out, grabbing the nearest solid object, which happened to be Ken, who had also gotten to his feet.

Ken grabbed Nagi's arm, staring down at the boy anxiously. "Nagi?"

Nagi lifted a shaking hand and pressed it to his forehead. "He's really pale." Omi said softly, "Are you feeling okay, Nagi?" He asked, speaking slowly, as if he was afraid Nagi wouldn't understood if his words were spoken with haste.

Nagi leaned heavily against Ken, a shudder moving through his tiny frame. Ken tightened his hold on the boy, He was concerned that if he let go Nagi might fall. The boy really didn't seem very steady at the moment. "I'm okay." Nagi whispered, though he still made no move to get away from Ken.

"Let's get him back to the camper." Ken said, letting go of Nagi's arm and wrapping his arm around Nagi's waist instead.

Nagi stiffened, but once again did not pull away. Ken felt worry grip him hard. This wasn't good. Nagi Naoe not flinching away from his touch? That wasn't good at all. He felt so worried his head began to spin. He easily lifted Nagi, not wanting to waste any time, and carried the boy to the camper.

"How is he?"

"Different."

"How so?"

"More emotional." A soft laugh, "I don't believe I've ever seen him show much emotion. He's changed."

"Is he becoming a-"

"No. No, he's not."

A tense silence, as the two stared at each other. Then slowly Crawford's lips tilted up in a smirk, "How emotional?"

Jei's eyes narrowed suspiciously, "Quite a bit."

"Perfect."

"Crawford."

Crawford looked away, smirk still on his lips. Jei didn't like that expression at all. He knew Crawford too well, and knew that Crawford didn't look so satisfied unless he had done something. 

"Crawford, what have you done?"

The smirk faded, "What have I done?" He repeated, as if he didn't understand the question.

Jei's gaze hardened, "You did something."

"I merely issued an order, and it would seem it is being carried out."

"What order?"

"That isn't your concern."

"What ORDER!?"

"He was ordered to pull as many strings as possible. To appear as weak as is possible, and to play on Weiss' pity."

Jei sat back, "You ordered him to act like an emotional idiot, so that they'd feel sorry for him?"

"It'll work. Weiss is too kind not to fall for it."

Jei shook his head slowly, that would explain Nagi's extremely odd behavior. He stared at Crawford, long and hard. He didn't like this, not one bit. "They should like him for who he is, not who he's pretending to be."

"This isn't about liking or disliking." Crawford said, frowning at Jei, "This is about fulfilling our duties."

Jei looked down, scowling at his hands, "Is Schuldich monitoring him, at least?"

"No. We're not sure the extent of Kritiker's abilities. It would be too dangerous for Schuldich to keep in contact, just in case Kritiker has a way of monitoring telepathic communications." There was a short pause from the stoic man, then; "Why does this bother you so much?"

"I had hoped, that Nagi Naoe was finally being allowed to just be himself." Jei admitted, immediately answering the question. "That not having the gift was allowing him to learn who he was without it." He looked up, gaze sharp, "We all know who we are when all is stripped away. Schuldich, yourself, and me. We know, because we've had a chance to discover it. But what about Nagi?"

"Even if this was a good opportunity for him to just be a boy, and not the prodigy," Crawford said carefully, "It is not the right situation. He shouldn't discover himself surrounded by his enemies."

"Maybe this is the only chance he'll get."

Crawford sighed, "Jei."

"Who are you, Bradley Crawford?"

Crawford jerked, seemingly surprised by that question. He turned his dark blue gaze on Jei, staring hard at the scarred man before him. He pushed his glasses higher on his nose, and frowned. "That isn't the issue."

Jei smiled, "You don't know how to answer the question?" He said with surprise, "I guess I was wrong. Maybe you haven't figured out who you are, yet. Maybe you're just as lost as Nagi."

"And you, Jei. Could you answer the same question?"

Jei nodded, "Even with Farfarello whispering in the back of my mind and confusing my thoughts, I know who I am. I don't deny my emotions, or my moral code."

"Moral code? You have murdered innocent children, participated in-"

Jei held up his hand, wincing and looking away, "Please. That wasn't me. That was Farfarello." He clenched his hand into a fist, "And the fact that I'm able to accept that, just further proves that I know who I am."

"So you believe knowing who you are is about accepting your emotions?" Crawford queried, a mocking tone in his voice.

"No. That's part of it, but not all of it. Can you say that you accept and act on your emotions?"

"It's not always wise to act on emotions."

"It's not always wise to ignore them either."

"This has ceased to be a conversation about Nagi." Crawford said with amusement.

"Why... can't we be?"

Crawford sighed, "I explained this."

"Explain it again. I miss..." He still couldn't get the word out, even now when he so desperately wanted to share how he felt.

"Don't."

"Are you and Schuldich together?"

Crawford was surprised by the swift change in topic. His facial expression didn't change much, but Jei knew Crawford well enough to recognize the subtle changes that did occur. "That is none of your concern."

"Are you?"

"Jei."

A warning, and Jei heeded it. He stepped back, "Right. Perhaps I'll ask him. He might be more willing to answer."

"Don't ask him."

"I want to. I'd like to know."

"It doesn't matter."

"It does to me." Jei laughed, reaching up to caress the scar on his left eye. He wasn't sure why he was pushing it so hard. He knew he wouldn't be happy with the answer and he knew it didn't matter in the end. They had made their decision long ago and he knew Crawford well enough to know the man would not change his mind. "I'm sorry. You're right. It doesn't matter."

Before Crawford could answer, and Jei knew he wanted to because the man's mouth opened, Jei turned and hurried out of the room. He didn't want to talk about it anymore. A conversation that had started over Nagi Naoe, his little friend, had turned into something entirely different. Something uncomfortable and awkward. Something he wanted to escape.

'I'm doing it for them; my family.'

Pain. He was hot, and cold. His head hurt. He curled onto his side, not sure where he was but not caring at the moment. He pressed his hands tightly against his chest, holding his body extremely still.

'I'm doing it for them...'

"Nagi?" He flinched away from the outside noise. Rebelling immediately upon hearing the voices of those he hated most at the moment.

'My family...'

"What happened?"

'Doing it...'

His chest felt as if it would burst, and maybe... it would?

'For them...'

"Shit!" A hand touched his forehead and quickly jerked away. He was glad it did. "He's burning up!"

"What happened, Ken!?"

Nothing made sense. He brought his knees as far towards his chest as he could manage. 'Schuldich...'

//"Hey kiddo."//

He gasped when his silent plea actually received a response. He flinched as well, pulling away from the pain that mental voice caused.

//"Shite. You're in bad shape, aren't you kid? I'm going to get the fuck out of your head. Tell those bastard's to get you some happy pills. Okay, kid?"// It was agony to listen, but he nodded his head in answer to the question and felt Schuldich leaving his head once again.

It hurt worse now than it had before. He cried out sharply when he felt hands touch him. He jerked away as best he could, and lashed out the only way he knew how. He heard someone cry out, someone cursing, and something crash against the wall, and then the world went blissfully black.

Ken chewed on his lower lip, watching Nagi's prostate form with a worried frown. "How is he?" Omi popped his head into the room, glancing at the bed where Ken was sitting and Nagi was lying.

"Same. Hasn't moved since he passed out." Ken said shortly. He didn't mean to be short with the boy but he was worried beyond all reason.

"Aya called Berman." Omi said quietly, "Um, she's sending someone over to look at him."

"Do you think he'll be okay?"

"Did you tell him?"

They stared at each other, then laughed nervously. They had spoken at the same time. "Yes, I think he'll be okay." Omi said with a smile.

"I apologized."

"What did he say?" Omi stepped into the room and closed the door carefully behind him.

"Nothing. Before he could say anything you arrived and then things went crazy."

"What do you think happened?"

"Well... shortly before we spoke he used his power."

"Like when he slammed Yohji into the wall?" Omi asked, smiling slightly.

Ken nodded solemnly, "Yeah. Like that."

"How long has he been able to access his power?"

"Not long, so far as I can tell."

"This is going to make things complicated." Omi sighed, "Kritiker won't be happy."

"You're right." Ken agreed, "This changes everything." And he hoped it wouldn't change things for the worse. The worse being that Nagi Naoe would be taken away. He didn't want that. Much as the boy confused him, he wanted to be able to get to know the powerful, and yet fragile teenager.

-End of Chapter Four-  
TBC

Notes: I haven't gone over it to correct anything yet, so I apologize for the grammar and spelling mistakes I'm sure abound throughout this chapter. My reason for posting it in this raw format was simply so that anyone who was waiting could read it, and also because I just haven't felt like correcting anything lately. When you don't have much time in the first place you don't want to spend what time you do have correcting. You want to spend it writing new material. I'm just impatient I guess. Schuldich, btw, swears in several different languages, if only because I feel as if he's intelligent enough to do so.

The conversation between Brad and Jei may seem a bit confused, but in later chapters the reason behind their oddness will be revealed. I'm sure some of you have interpreted the hints already. Keep in mind, Jei has no control over when Farfarello takes control, and for the most part when Farf is in control Farf stays for a long time. Jei has only been given free reign of his body a few times since Farf first appeared (IE when he murdered his mother). But Jei has all of Farf's memories, which is why he can fit so easily within Schwarz. Of course, they would never send him on missions since he is a pacifist... surprised. Well, this is my version of Jei/Farf, so, you should be.

Oddly enough Jei seems to be a mixture of Schuldich/Nagi/Ken. You see the Schu side of him when he's speaking to Yohji, the Ken side of him when he's being all horrified about Farf's actions (honorable, considerate, kind, etc... all things you find in Ken) and you see the Nagi side of him in his strange vulnerability (though usually Nagi's vulnerability is hidden well behind his mask of apathy).

If you thought Nagi being emotional was OOC, then you were correct. For the most part... he's playing it up. Ah, ah, you may frown upon this all you want, but Nagi simply does not behave like that. Even if he WAS thinking such thoughts, he would never let his control slip enough to display them openly. So, for the most part, anything he does, and says, is being greatly upplayed. If that's a word. Everything he thinks and feels is real, just under normal circumstances he wouldn't allow those emotions to show.

Now, I'm done. I shouldn't have written all this, and I shouldn't post it, but I know I will. Then you can all know what a weirdo I am and run in fear. Yes, yes, fear me. As well you should.

Thanks to: SilverWolfe, Shy (*l* Hm... Shy sounds like a good name for Omi's girlfriend. ~_^*), just a reader, Misura, newtypeshadow (wait and you shall see if Nagi has other powers). 


	5. Chapter Five

In Black and White  
By: Libitina

  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters depicted here. I am just borrowing them to have a little fun with my imagination.

Warnings: Shonen-ai content (in later chapters). This chapter contains some mild cursing. 

***************************

"The fact that he can use his powers again is worrisome. _The mission perimeters will be modified." _Omi sighed as he watched Ken and Yohji play with the computer. Things had returned to a semi-normal state since receiving their new orders. The only difference being the still unconscious boy who lay just down the hall, and the absence of a certain stoic redhead. Nagi hadn't woken since passing out three days earlier. The doctor's Kritiker had sent over said it was because of the mental trauma. Aya had left hours earlier, after two days of preparation. The new mission orders put Aya Fujimiya in a precarious position. But it was a position Aya was the best suited for.

Yohji let out a cry of defeat and Omi smiled a little. Yohji always lost when he and Ken played their racing games. Ken simply had faster reflexes, or maybe he had more practice when it came to computer games. Omi looked back down at the paper on the table before him. He was supposed to writing a report on a subject of his choice. He hadn't started, in fact he hadn't thought of a fitting topic.

His thoughts drifted to Shaylee, his current girlfriend. All his worries over their mission and guilt flew away as he pictured her pretty face. He loved her. So much so that thinking about her made him feel dizzy and light hearted. He had lost his virginity to her just a short month ago. He bit his lip, smiling as he thought about it. He couldn't wait to see her again.

"You cheated!" Yohji accused loudly, jerking Omi out of his thoughts.

He looked back at his friends, laughing softly. Somehow he couldn't go back to his earlier melancholy mood. There were too many things to be cheerful about. Like the reminder that tonight he would be with Shaylee.

Chapter Five -Mutiny-

'What the hell am I doing here?' Aya stood before the ornate door and glared at it as if somehow was responsible for his current situation. His mission orders were clear, and he wasn't happy. He was starting to build more respect for Nagi Naoe for walking up to their door three weeks ago. Especially now that he was about to do, essentially, the same thing. Role reversal was a bitch. 

Taking a moment to sort his emotions and tuck them neatly aside, he raised his hand and knocked on the door. Three, sharp, rhythmic raps. Then he waited.

His bangs, which had grown too long since he hadn't bothered to get his hair cut for several weeks, fell into his eyes, but he ignored them. What he wanted was to be back home. Watching Ken and making sure his partner didn't do anything stupid. Like fall for Nagi Naoe. It was probably too late for that, as Yohji had been all too quick to point out.

'You notice something, Aya-luv?' He remembered Yohji's silky words two nights ago, _'You notice the way Ken can't seem to keep his eyes off Nagi, or the way he's insisted on staying with the boy? I think our little Ken-ken has a crush.'_ Sometimes he hated Yohji. Because he knew Yohji knew too much.

The door swung open and he found himself staring at the redheaded version of Yohji Kudou. To the jut of the hips, to the cocky smile, Schuldich was as identical to Yohji as he could be. With, or without the long red hair. "Well! What a surprise! Bradley, Jei! We have a guest!" Schuldich said cheerfully, apparently unsurprised to see Aya.

He wouldn't be surprised. Aya knew Kritiker had sent someone to inform Schwarz of the new 'evaluation' guidelines. "Mastermind." Aya said shortly.

"Schuldich. Call me Schuldich, or Schu, if you want to get intimate." Schuldich said with a grin. He stepped back, "Come on in, lovely. We've been waiting eagerly for you."

Just like Yohji. Just as irritating, just as smug, and oozing just as much sex appeal. Fortunately Aya was not the least bit attracted to the kind of sex appeal Schuldich was dripping. He strode into the hotel room, not surprised at the rich, spectacular room he stepped into. The carpet was white, the walls a bizarre and bright yellow. The furniture was all white, and leather. And if not leather, then expensive. The walls were bare except for a few large paintings. Everything screamed of money. 

It was a suite with four rooms, one for each member of Schwarz, including Nagi who was not staying here, obviously. The main room was a living/dining area and quite large. The south wall was complete glass, overlooking the city. The north side of the room had a kitchen area that joined to the dining area.

The living area, near the center and extending into the north side of the room was currently occupied by Bradley Crawford and Farfarello. The crazy Irish man was currently not wearing his eyepatch and his scarred left eye was painful to look at. Across the west wall were four doors, spaced a good six feet apart. The door closed behind Aya as he look around and he forced himself not to flinch.

"I do believe you know everyone. Oracle, or Bradley Crawford. Call him Bradley if you'd like to see him growl. Crawford if you want to be civil with him. And Jei." Schuldich waved his hand at Crawford and then Farfarello. He moved into the living area, plopping onto the couch beside Crawford and stretching his long legs out.

Aya thought it was a bit odd that he introduced Crawford using both the man's code name and real name, but then introduced Farfarello as simply Jei. Was Jei Farfarello's real name then? It hadn't been in the notes he'd been sent by Kritiker. No one knew Schuldich's real name, and as far as they knew Farfarello was Berserker's real name. But Jei... He made a mental note as he kicked his boots off and entered the room.

He kicked the boots of instinctively, not comfortable wearing dirty shoes in such a sterile environment. He walked to where the others were, sitting down in the chair farthest from the three Schwarz members.

"So, Kritiker wants us to teach you how to access your gift, huh." It was hardly the most appropriate way to start a conversation, but coming from Schuldich Aya was not surprised.

"NO!" Nagi awoke with a startled cry. He sat up, grabbing his head with his hands and looking around wildly. He was alone, and soon he calmed enough to gather his thoughts. He had just remembered where he was when the door flung open and he found himself staring into the warm brown eyes of Ken Hidaka.

"You're awake." Ken said, sounding strangely breathless.

Nagi didn't feel the need to answer. Didn't really feel like answering at all, so he just stared at Ken, hands still pressed to the sides of his head. Ken stepped closer to the bed, and Nagi got a glimpse of bright blue eyes behind him. Omi. But the boy turned and was gone, closing the door softly as he hurried back down the hall.

"How do you feel?"

"What happened?"

"You used your power, but your mind wasn't ready for the stress. So you passed out, and you've been out for a few days. It was your body's way of making sure you let your mind rest." Ken explained, crawling onto the bed and kneeling before Nagi.

Nagi watched him warily, not quite as scared of Ken as he had been. He remembered dimly Ken's apology, but it seemed so far away. Like something that had happened years and years ago. What he remembered more than Ken's apology was the kiss. He would never forget the kiss. "Um... about, about earlier..."

Nagi knew before Ken finished speaking what the other man wanted to talk about, so he jerked forward and pressed his hand against Ken's mouth. They stared at each other, startled brown gazing into wide blue. It was in that moment that Nagi realized something that scared him more than anything ever had. He pulled his hand away slowly, surprised when Ken reached up and grabbed it. He stared at their joined hands, but didn't pull away.

"Let's try and forget it all and start anew." Ken said quietly, "All right?"

Nagi nodded slowly, not daring to look up. He didn't want to look at Ken's face. A face he liked more now than he ever did before. "Hi, I'm Ken Hidaka." Ken said, squeezing Nagi's fingers slightly, "And who are you?"

Nagi realized that in his own way Ken was trying to make things better. He looked up, daring a glance at Ken's face. The smile and warmth he saw there made his heart jerk. He returned the smile as best he could, "Nagi Naoe." He said softly.

"It's a pleasure... would you like to join me for dinner? Nagi Naoe?"

Nagi flushed, his mind working in overtime. Did Ken mean that the way it sounded? Like a date. He studied Ken silently, mulling everything over in his mind carefully before slowly nodding, "Yes."

"Before we can start working together, we need to get to know each other better." Schuldich said, licking his bottom lip, "If you can't trust us, we can't help you see if you have a gift."

The redheaded Weiss, Aya Fujimiya, was nervous. Jei could see it in the way the redhead held himself. He was stiff, eyes quick and wary. Nervous probably wasn't the right word, but it was the only one Jei could think of at the moment. He noticed the looks he was getting, and knew that Fujimiya was aware that something was different.

Fujimiya was intelligent. He could see that clearly and he respected that. He had the same look in his eyes as Crawford, and because of this Jei liked him. He knew just from looking at Fujimiya that trust would not be happening anytime soon. Fujimiya wasn't the type to trust, anyone. He probably only minimally trusted his own teammates.

"First off, that is Jei. Not Farfarello." Schuldich motioned at Jei, he had noticed the looks Fujimiya had been giving Jei. Considering it was Schuldich, he could probably also hear the redhead's thoughts. _//He's wondering why I called you Jei, and not Farfarello.// _Schuldich's voice echoed strangely in his mind, and he tried not to flinch away from it. That would explain why Schuldich was currently explaining things. "Jei is one of Farfarello's personalities. We believe he is the founder. Farfarello, as I'm sure you have now realized has DID. He has two personalities that we know of, but there's no telling if there are more."

"Does Jei have the gift as well?" Fujimiya asked and Schuldich looked amused by the question. _//Quick little kitten, isn't he?//_

"No."

"Farfarello is the gift." Jei said shortly. He didn't want questions.

Fujimiya nodded, "If Naoe continues to try accessing his power, what will happen?"

"If his mind isn't fully healed, he could cause permanent damage." Schuldich said, mood darkening visibly. Schuldich wore his emotions on his sleeves at times, and now was one of those times because he wanted Fujimiya to trust him. He needed Fujimiya to like him.

Kritiker's change of plans caused Schwarz to alter their plans as well. However, it was for the good. Having Fujimiya as they now had him could only make their mission easier.

"What would that entail?" Fujimiya persisted. Obviously he was either genuinely curious, or he had been given orders to ask.

"Several things, it all depends on the little one. Coma, being one option. Insanity, death... it varies with each person." Schuldich shrugged.

"This has happened before?"

"With others who access their gifts, yes. Some who have no control push their limits and often snap their limits. It's not uncommon."

"And you? Have you regained control of your powers?" Fujimiya asked pointedly.

"Bits of it." Schuldich said with an easy smile. There were times when Jei envied Schuldich's easy charm and ability to lie. "At times I hear a whisper or two of thought." He turned his head, looking pointedly at Crawford.

"I have had no visions." Crawford said, very dead pan and cool. 

"Farfarello continues to sleep." Jei said when Crawford finished, feeling somehow that Fujimiya's question had been pointed to them all, not just Schuldich. He was the only one not lying. Though he could feel Farfarello stirring slightly. It made him uneasy. The crazed one would not rest long. He never did.

"So you are all regaining your powers." Fujimiya murmured, though he sounded as if he was speaking more to himself than them. "It's only a matter of time."

"No need to be afraid, the collective will not take us back, even if our powers return." Crawford murmured.

"You don't need the collective if you have your powers." Fujimiya pointed out.

"Indeed." Schuldich laughed, looking very amused now. To him it was a game of cat and mouse, or at least that was the impression Jei got. Schuldich enjoyed baiting Weiss, he always had.

The silence that followed Fujimiya's questions was unpleasant to Jei. He hated tension. After a few moments he got to his feet and walked towards his room. "Jei? Leaving us already?"

"I have better things to do than sit around all day. Call me when you need me." Jei said shortly.

"Tch, no fun." Schuldich murmured, his tone teasing but his gaze serious.

Nagi was nervous. Ken could feel the boy's tension from across the table. To their side Yohji was sitting on the couch, legs propped up on the cushions as he watched the television. Omi had left for his date, and Nagi and Ken were eating together, quietly, at the table. Ken had tried to coax Nagi into a conversation, but the boy's responses were less than encouraging.

Ken sighed, putting his fork down and giving up the pretense of eating. "What is your fondest memory?" 

Nagi looked up, and it was clear from his expression that Ken's question startled him. Ken smiled, trying to help Nagi feel at ease. "My... fondest memory?"

"Yeah."

Nagi looked down at his food and his answer was so long in coming Ken figured he wouldn't answer. But then, much to his delight, Nagi spoke, "Before the gift came to me, I remember... the way my mother used to look at me."

"That's your fondest memory?" Ken asked quietly.

Nagi nodded, then looked up and pinned Ken with his gaze, "And yours?"

//Kissing you.// Ken pushed the thought aside and smiled, "Kase. Before he betrayed me. Pretty much everything we did together is in that category. Although now the memories are tainted, now that I know who he really was."

"Kase?"

"My... he was my best friend."

"How did he betray you?"

Ken would have liked not to answer the question, but this was Nagi asking, and the fact that Nagi was asking, and showing interest, kept him from holding his tongue. "I trusted him, and he tried to kill me."

Nagi finished eating and put his own fork down. He folded his hands in his lap. There was silence, broken only by the sounds of the television, before Yohji spoke up, "Why don't you two join me? There's a good movie on."

"Sure." Ken grinned and got to his feet. He held his hand out without really thinking, and didn't really realize what he had done until Nagi's small, cold hand rested in his. He helped the boy to his feet, and for a moment they stood, toe to toe, just staring at each other.

Ken blushed, looking away and stepping back to give Nagi room. The boy moved past him and sat on the couch beside Yohji. Yohji swung his legs down to give Ken room and then slid over so that Ken would have to sit between him and Nagi. The movie blurred from his view as all his senses were trained on the small boy to his side.

Nagi Naoe. He realized, as they sat there, that he was falling head over heels for the delicate and deadly boy.

-End of Chapter Five-  
TBC

Notes: I debated over this for a while. From chapter four the story could go two ways, and I had to decide which way I wanted to try. The chapter is short because of how much I struggled with it. Finally I just said screw it and decided to post what I had as I work on completing the next chapter. I have little time and less energy, but I do want to continue this story, even though I'm getting the sneaky suspicion it's in the; Fair but not great, section of fanfiction.


End file.
